Shape Of My Heart
by Kurenai LeStrange
Summary: After years of friendship, Logan and Remy are finally together. The night after their private nuptials, what happens when their world is torn apart by Sinister’s evil plans? Will he find Remy’s secret, or will Logan find him in time? MPREG Warning!
1. Chapter 1: Escape

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/Non-con/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

Chapter 1: Escape

Fleeing through the darkness into the foggy, dirty streets of New Orleans a man runs for his life. Clutching a small bundle close to his chest, due to recent bodily trauma he is weakening quickly. He has to move quickly, those that are chasing him are getting closer. He can barely breathe, every muscle in his body screaming for relief.

His abdomen and legs, felt heavy and numb, yet somehow kept him on the edge of nearly shrieking in pain. He has to stop, he has to rest, but he knows they are trailing his scent and worse of all, his blood. He runs past an alley in his old neighborhood, just outside the old section of French Quarter. He is quick as a panther and with footsteps as light as a cat, he ducked and parried up the alley as quick as he could.

His long, lithe arms clutch his most precious possession close to his chest as he leans next to a group of crates pinning himself self close to the alley wall, watching for his pursuers. His breath ragged, he gasps trying to regain control of his breathing. His thoughts racing as he hopes to free himself from their clutches and keep his most precious possession from falling into their hands.

His thoughts turn to most recent events, he bites his lip as it trembles, the fog rolling in thicker, hiding himself in a dark doorway as he fight the tears. The memories fight back, claiming his mind for their own personal possesion: the love of his life with his piercing blue eyes, as he is murdered before his very eyes. Next comes his capture, the torture, the medical experiments, his escape, the birth in a dirty, dark warehouse, the pain, the abandonment, and worse of all, the guilt.

The tears begin running down his cheeks, there is nothing he can do to stop them. The newfound dampness, burning bruised cheeks, as the tears roll down, he lets his battered body slowly slide down the wall.

Finally he is sitting on the cold, damp ground, crying like a child. He is so caught up in his thoughts he is startled when the bundle in his lap squirmed, grunting angrily.

He acts quickly, uncovering the angelic face of his newborn daughter, stroking her cheek as she scrunches her face up to reveal her true emotions. He clears his throat, trying to conjure enough of a voice to calm his scared child. His voice is hoarse from screaming and lack of use.

Remy LeBeau cuddles his daughter closer to him, kissing her forehead hoping to offer her some form of comfort, when panic is all he truly feels.

"_Shhhh… Mon petit __(my small one).__ Remy's here, it ain't bad 'nuff t' cry bout. Shhh…gon' make it tous les mieux (all better). Y' got'ta be 'ungry, mon chère __(my dear).__"_

'_If Rem' can give birt', he can sure' produire le lait, Oui? (produce milk, yes?)'_

His thoughts race as he quickly unbuttons his shirt, placing his daughter up to the slight swell of his '_breast' _hoping he has produced milk or something that might give her sustenance. Her cries are stilled, when he helps guide her and she finds his nipple finally, suckling hungrily. Though his daughter is precious to him, his body's betrayal is still horrifying. He could hear Sinister's bellowing laughter, reverberate in his head.

'_Mon Dieu __(My God),__ Sini'ter! W'at 'ave y' don' t' Remy? Je suis un homme, pas une femme! __(I'm a man, not a woman!)__"_

He thought to himself in horror, as he nurses his newborn daughter in the pale streetlight, his energy fading as fast as their time. He shudders, remembering the pain from some of the experiments. This little 'improvement' has been the least painful of them all, yet, the most rewarding, he can feel his daughter's fear melting away and contentment is slowly replacing her worry. Remy smiles down on her as he strokes her cheek, trying to wash her in as much love and comfort as he can fit through their connection.

Remy feels another sharp pain building in his abdomen again, he hisses as he, with his free hand he felt where his daughter once was. The bulge is smaller but there is definitely still a bit of a swell. He focused his powers hoping with what little energy he has left, he can use his empathy and limited telepathic abilities to try to find signs of another life. The pains feel like the same type of contractions he had, had before she was born.

As he did that he also felt around with his hand as well. He is hoping the bulge isn't just his gained '_extra baby weight'_. For some reason, he found himself hoping for another, something about a second child just felt right. Maybe it's because his daughter is the last link to Logan he has, so of course why wouldn't he want another? Yet, how could he raise two children alone? After a few moments he is deeply saddened to find nothing; no movements, and consciousness. His heart breaks, as if he had lost Logan all over again.

At the same time, he is more surprised at his reaction then the fact there wasn't another child. Leaning his head back against the cool stone of the wall, the confusion sets in with the sadness. The pain in his stomach has been peaking over the last few minutes, so he knew whatever is wrong; the prognosis would not be good. Smiling down, he strokes his daughters' cheek,

"_Remy 'ope 'e 'ave a chance ta see y' grow up mon peu un __(my little one),__ y' are mo' den' enuf pour moi __(for me)__!"_

After a few moments she finishes and he burps her quickly. Checking to make sure her swaddling gown is tightly bound around her to keep in the warmth; he rocks her to sleep which only takes a few moments. Then carefully places his sleeping daughter into the makeshift sling carrier on his chest.

As he pushes himself up from the cold, damp ground, he curses Sinister for stealing everything from him. Choking back the sobs he could feel, fighting within his chest for freedom; he wraps an arm carefully under his daughter, using his other hand to wipe the steady stream of tears from his eyes. He thinks of everything taken from him: Logan, her birth and the first bonding and intimate moments with his daughter should have been in a warm home with both her parents and friends who love her.

It shouldn't have been in a cold, dark warehouse, all alone, via a flickering streetlight and an old oil lantern, on a pile of scrap cloth. As he steadies himself against the dirty alley wall, a wave of nausea hits him from the pain creeping over him again. He gasps lightly, feeling the dull pain sharpen for a moment; he tries to breathe it out. He presses his head against the wall again, closing his eyes to focus his energy, hoping to distract himself from the pain. He wraps his arm around his stomach, trying not to pant aloud. He swallows hard, hearing scuffles of footsteps coming up fast.

"_I can smell yer spicy, Cajun blood, pretty boy. When I get ya back I think I'm going to take a pint of it for ma'self."_

Sabertooth calls into the fog.

A wave of panic engulfs Remy as he bolts up the alley, his foe's close on his tail, his head swimming and his vision is beginning to blur. He crosses a main road quickly and then ducks into another alley. The fog is getting thicker, it is almost supernaturally thick. He can hear the bell of the 'Natchez' steamboat ringing from Lake Pontchartrain echoing hauntingly through the darkness.

As his strength fades, he can feel himself slowing down, the footsteps in the darkness getting closer. He is so concentrated on the people behind him; he is paying no attention to who is in front of him. He runs right into a person, someone solid, knocking him right off his feet.

He clutches his daughter close, praying no harm will come to her, as he waits for impact with the cobblestones. Nothing happens after what seems like an eternity falling, he slowly opens his eyes. The fog is clearing, but he is being held by a man, and a strong one at that, the darkness and fog shrouding his face. He has been caught! He begins to panic, struggling as he cries out,

"Non!"

**Notes from the Author:**

**Whew! Now that's a first chapter! It always seems the first is the hardest to write. I hope you enjoyed my first chapter and promise to have many more coming. Hopefully they will be equally as great! **

**With Love,**

**K xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2: Caught!

** Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/ Rape/Romantic

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

After years of friendship, Logan and Remy have finally found happiness together. On the night after their private nuptials, what happens when their world is torn apart by Sinister's evil plans? Will he discover Remy's secret, or will Logan find him in time to save him?

* * *

Chapter 2: Caught!

***

Remy has been caught! He begins to panic, struggling as he cries out,

"Non!"

The footsteps coming from behind are getting even closer as the strong arms pull him closer to his chest,

"In rush to get somewhere, Darlin?"

The voice was kind and concerned, the scent of cigars emanating off his clothes, a familiar gruff, callused paw stroking his cheek, gently wiping away his tears.

"Lo-Logan, cher? J'ai cru que vous étiez morts!!"

(L-Logan, dear? I thought that you had died!!)

He had to be dreaming. Logan is gone. He saw his body himself: the blood, the silence, the lack of breath or heartbeat. It's a trick! Sinister had to be trying to fool him.

"You know as well as I do, it'll take a lot more than that to keep me from coming for you Gumbo. You ok?"

The fog clears as Storm lands next to them.

"Is my brother all right?"

"S-Stormy."

Remy whispers, relief washing over him. He is started the blast of red energy that cuts through the fog as Cyclops and Jean run into the tiny fogless clearing,

"Do you have him Logan? Sabertooth and Arc Angel aren't far behind him."

Remy's tears of joy begin pouring down his cheeks, they are finally safe. He draws his daughter closer to his heart as Wolverine rushes them back to the Blackbird. The sounds of battle, fading into the distance, Remy allowing himself to slip into the darkness as he hears his Husband say, 'We're going home.'

***

Wolverine runs up the gangplank, his eyes welling as his heart swells with happiness. After almost seven months his love is finally in his arms again.

"Did you find him?"

"Yes! I have him."

Wolverine called happily, his mate is back.

"Good bring him here quickly!"

Hank met him at the top of the gangplank.

Wolverine rushes past Hank taking him into sickbay and placing him on one of the tables. Logan chokes back tears as he sees all the damage that has been inflicted upon his better half. Logan steps closer analyzing the damage. Remy Lebeau lay upon the table; he is clutching a bundle of to his chest. There are bruises and lacerations everywhere, his lip is torn open. The whole lower half of his body is bloody. He is filthy and yet is still beautiful his delicate features shining through on the dirty tear streaked face. His long hair, unkempt and is well past his waist now, hanging limply off the side of the table.

Hank is busily trying to find if there are any good veins left in either of his freshly scarred arms. There is blood everywhere and he is so thin, Remy almost looks like a skeleton. After many failed attempts, Hank finally gets a saline and protein line run. The silent tears that have been steadily falling from Logan's eyes, have not slowed or ceased even for a second. Hank places a blue furry paw on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"There's nothing more I can do than keep him stable, my friend. He'll pull through, Logan. He always does."

Logan places a hand on Hanks squeezing back. "I know. Thanks."

Hank heads for the door to give Logan some privacy. There is nothing more he can do until they get back to the Mansion. Logan can hear the rest of the team loading up, then could feel the jet taking off.

Logan reaches out stroking Remy's cheek. Suddenly the bundle squirms making a strange sound.

"What the Hell?"

Logan jumps to his feet claw unsheathed on one hand, the other reaching for the bundle. He steps closer sheathing his claw again. Moving Remy's hands he gently lifts the bundle from his grasp, the bundle squirming again as Logan picks it up. He lifts the flap, to reveal piercing blue eyes, similar to his own. Suddenly, Logan felt like an ass.

'A baby. He's been protecting someone's baby. Here I am with my claws out like an animal.'

The baby looked annoyed by his presence, but wasn't afraid.

"Hello beautiful!"

Logan whispers, the baby smiles at him, his voice seemed to have made some kind of connection. He feels a warmth, engulfing him. He loves this child, and he has no idea why.

"Why hello there, are you smiling at me?"

As soon as he says that, the baby's expression changes completely. The baby looks bored with him almost.

"Am I that easy to read kid?"

She's all smiles again.

"That's what I thought. Yer so tiny. I can't believe how small ya are even for a pup."

The baby gurgles at him.

"Who's kid are you… bless your bleeding heart, Remy. Who's baby did you save?"

"Dat's yo' fille, Logan. Out o' da few hours she's been born, Remy see's yo' temper in 'er."

The voice that startled him, sounded so pained and hoarse, it hurt him to hear it. As if he were waiting for a verdict, the gorgeous alien, red on black eyes, stare unblinking and uncertain, tears filling the reddened brim.

"M-My daughter?"

Logan stutters, he could barely believe his ears.


	3. Chapter 3: Reunion

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/ Rape/Romantic

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

After years of friendship, Logan and Remy have finally found happiness together. On the night after their private nuptials, what happens when their world is torn apart by Sinister's evil plans? Will he discover Remy's secret, or will Logan find him in time to save him?

* * *

Chapter 3: An Honest Proposal

***

_" My-My Fille?" Logan stutters, he could barely believe his ears._

_"Oui. Y'r Dau'ter."_

_"She's beautiful and so tiny. What's her name?"_

_"I was t'inking Belle."_

Logan gives him a sideways glance, arching a graceful eyebrow.

_"Belle as in Bella Donna, the woman who nearly got you killed, then banished?"_

Logan could see the visible tremble that jolted through Remy's body, just at the name of his ex-wife.

_"Non. Hell Non! Belle fo' da first name, 'cause it mean Beautiful. Reine fo' da second, means Queen."_

_"Belle Reine, eh?"_

_"Belle Reine 'Owlette."_

_"Howlette? No, Lebeau. Please, that's the name I want to take when you are stronger."_

Remy's cheeks flushed a bright crimson, as Logan leans down kissing his forehead, then begin running his fingers through Remy's hair.

_"Oh, Cher, y' dunno 'ow très bon dat make Remy feel."_

Remy sighs, in contentment, as he nuzzles Logan's hand with his cheek. Logan stoops down next to him,

_"Remy, you never cease to amaze me. More than life itself, I love you."_

_"Je vous aime, cher!"_

_"But-"_

Remy's face is suddenly crestfallen. Logan knows he has to act quickly, Remy's not understanding that the implied 'but' is a good one. He shifts Belle from one arm to the other.

_"I have a question to ask ya. I've been trying to get the courage to ask ya for the last six months, before ya were kidnapped,"_

Remy's eyes widen in surprise, as Logan reaches into his favorite leather jacket's pocket. He pulls out a small box,

_"Remy, yer my mate, and I mate for life. I love ya and was wondering if ya would do the honor of spending the rest of yer life with me, not just on paper but officially in front of everyone on the team. I will love and cherish ya til' the day I die, Darlin', ya know that. I want everyone to know of my happiness with ya."_

Remy's bruised and bloodied hand trembles as he reaches for the small, black, velvet box. Then while gingerly opening it, the tears rolling down his cheeks when he sees the ornate gold band encrusted with diamonds. His answer is barely above a whisper, but Wolverine's ears were the only ones in need of hearing, the tiny voice as it trembled.

_"Oui, Logan, cher! Remy wants ta drive y' wild for da rest of dis' life."_

Logan looking nervous only seconds before grows the largest feral grin, Remy has ever seen on a person. His eyes finally allow the tears to fall as he kisses Remy gently the moves to take a seat next to him again. He takes Remy's hand placing gentle kisses as he slides the new gold band onto his delicate finger, and then holds his hand against his scruffy cheek. They sat in silence just staring into each other's eyes.

Logan thought of everything the broken man lying before him, had gone through alone these last few months. He had risked his life to save their daughter, delivering her himself. A daughter, he himself didn't even know about. He fell to his knees on the metal floor cradling the tiny life against his chest sobbing into the slight swell that once housed that precious life. Remy gasps lightly from the discomfort of the added weight but also from the startled pain that is beginning to pulse in his lower abdomen. He breathes deeply, until it passes. Logan looks on worriedly while he tries pulling it together. He nearly screams in surprise when the baby's breath hitched and it released a shrill wail.

Remy smiled at Logan's fearful expression.

_"Y' did'nt do it. Mon fille is 'ungry. 'Elp Remy up, s'il vous plaît."_

_"Yer supposed to be restin', darlin'. You've been through so much. Plus there isn't anything we can-"_

Remy reaches out placing soft porcelain fingers gently across his mouth, silencing him momentarily.

_" 'Elp Remy up. S'il vous plaît."_

_"Rest. I'll find something to-"_

Frustrated, Remy pulls himself up by Logan's shoulder, and gingerly leans back against the wall with a groan. His body protesting nearly as loudly as Logan, Belle begins to cry loudly. Gambit knows his strength is fading and the pain in his stomach is building again but Wolverines' pig headedness was not going to prevent their daughter from eating.

_" 'And mon fille ov'r to Remy. "_

Beast rushes in the door of the med bay,

_"What's with all the ruckus back here? I thought I just heard a baby. "_

* * *

Note from the Author:

Okay guys, its review time! I have two new chapters ready to post, but I need some direction. So if you guys can start leaving me some feedback and let me know what you think, I can know what to add/change before I can get those up, A.S.A.P.

Thanks for reading!

Love, K


	4. Chapter 4: Exposure

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/ Rape/Romantic

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

After years of friendship, Logan and Remy have finally found happiness together. On the night after their private nuptials, what happens when their world is torn apart by Sinister's evil plans? Will he discover Remy's secret, or will Logan find him in time to save him?

* * *

Chapter 4: Exposure

***

Beast rushes in the door of the med bay,

"_What's with all the ruckus… I thought I just heard a baby. "_

As Beast looks on, Logan is sitting next to a very conscious Remy Lebeau, with a tiny, squalling infant in his arms.

"_A child? Where pray tell did you find a child, Logan? Remy, you're awake! Wonderful!"_

"_Henri ."_

Remy states with an acknowledging nod, taking his beautiful, tiny daughter from Logan's trembling hands. He never takes his eyes off her; he kisses her hand gently as he lays her across his chest.

"_Shhh, petit. Remy know y'r 'ungry."_

As soon as she hears his voice she stops crying, and opens her eyes to find him. He smiles down upon her, her striking blue eyes melting his heart, nearly distracting him from the pain beginning again in his lower abdomen. Closing his eyes he breathes deeply as trying to conceal it, if only for a while longer. Beast walks up to see her more closely; he smiles as he strokes her cheek with a furry finger.

"_My, you have a way with children, Gambit. I'm sorry but we don't have any formula on board the blackbird, I do have some at the mansion though, we'll be there soon."_

"_T'anks Henri, mais Remy is ac'ually ter'ible wit' enfants,"_

He laughs lightly,

"_Mais, Remy's fille know 'is voice, been listenin' all 'er life. 'Sides, nature 'as a way o' workin' t'ings out, non?"_

He says looking up to where Beast stood only moments before. He watches as Hank and Logan are both noisily scouring through the on-board pantry for possible food choices.

His angel begins her cries for the relief of hunger, again. He unbuttons the first five buttons on his shirt, careful not to expose the slight swell of his breast. He can overhear the two men talking about how they can make her quit crying. He grunts lightly as the current cramp ebbs away, he tries keeping his breathing as quiet as possible. He gingerly lifts his daughter to position her appropriately; he's still very new at this. But just the same as the first time, her cries finally cease as she latches on, suckling greedily.

Remy looks up in time to catch their expressions, Beast drops the canister of coffee he's holding, and Logan bursts out in laughter. Remy smiles tiredly, as he leans back against the wall, humming a familiar tune.

'Frère Jaque', I haven't heard that song since I was a pup. Mother used to sing it to me.'

Logan remembers a precious memory indeed. He'll tell Remy about it when he is well. Logan takes his place back at Remy's side, wrapping a supportive arm around his family.

"_You never cease to amaze me, Rem. Well, I guess the issue as to what to feed her has been closed."_

Remy strokes her cheek, leaning into Logan's embrace, allowing him self to doze lightly while his daughter nurses. He feels like he would wake from this dream at any time, to find himself in the cold, dark cell Sinister had been keeping him in. It is hard to believe they are finally safe. He hopes upon hope this wasn't a trick that he is actually there in Logan's warm embrace. Even if he weren't he hoped not to wake from this dream. He is awakened by his daughter's gentle cries, and Logan stroking his cheek.

"_Rem, darlin' can ya hear me? Ya up?"_

"_Oui, barely, Cher."_

"_I'm not sure but I think she's still hungry. Whatever is wrong, she is pissed."_

Gambit smiles, adjusting his daughter, he swaps sides, where she picked back up where she left off.

'_It's real. We're safe.'_

Logan slides out from behind him, just begins to nod off again, basking in the warmth of Logan's love.

"_I'll be right back, Rem."_

He kisses the top of Remy's head as he rushes toward the cockpit. Remy feels the thrusters of the blackbird kick in for a landing. He wakes up in panic, a massive cramp tearing through his lower back and abs...

"_Mon Dieu!"_

Logan rushes back over to his side, he had stepped out to see how long it would be until landing and when he gets back Gambit is in a full panic. His breathing is becoming quite labored.

"_Mon Dieu, Logan. W'at dey gon'a say 'bout Remy? W'at dey gon'a say 'bout Belle? Remy don' wan'a 'splain dat. Logan, w'at Remy su'pose t' do?"_

Tears were flowing down his cheeks as his whole body trembles, his right hand clutching his stomach, his left holding their nursing daughter.

"_It's gonna be okay, Gumbo. Yer not gonna have to say a thing. Let's just take everything one step at a time. First things first… I've been waitin' a long time to do this, and couldn't get it done earlier."_

Logan reaches into his pocket pulling out a black box similar to the one he gave Remy earlier. He pulls another gold band out then slides it onto his own finger; Remy notices that it's identical to his own.

"_There, that looks perfect. Now on to the next thing…"_

He walks over to the closet and pulls out a blanket draping it over the trembling Cajun and their nursing child.

"_See, now all they can see is you. Genius, right?"_

He stands in front of his mate, taking his face in his hands kissing his cheeks, finally feeling some of the anxiety subside. Logan lifts the blanket to kissing, Belle on the head and brushes her cheek gently. He covers her back up, then takes his family into his arms. He kisses Remy carefully, but passionately.

"_I love you, Remy Etienne Lebeau. "_

"_J'taime, asi, James Logan 'Owelette."_

"_And thanks."_

"_T'anks for w'at, mon cœur?"_

"_Fer giving me the most unbelievable and unexpected gift in the entire world, our beautiful daughter Belle and most of all, yer love."_

Remy's pale cheeks flush deep crimson.

"_Je vous en prie, Logan. Gonna do it 'gain... bientôt*."_

_(*In a short while.)_

"_I'll take up ya up on that offer, when ya are well enuf but only if ya promise our next child can have yer eyes."_

Big crocodile tears roll down his cheeks,

"_My eyes? But dey 'ave brung me not'in but trouble my 'ol li-"_

"_They are gorgeous, like you."_

Remy is speechless, he couldn't believe his ears.

"_Merci."_

Remy whispers as Logan descends the gangplank with him in his arms. It seemed that everyone from the school has made their way out to the docking bay to welcome Gambit home. Jean and Hank are waiting at the bottom of the walkway with a hoverbed to take Remy to the infirmary. Logan shook his head to Hank and in turn he began to move the bed out of the way but Jean protests.

"_Logan, Remy needs to be on that."_

"_Sorry Jean, but yer gonna have to pry this Cajun from my cold dead fingers, I just got him back."_

Logan stated matter-of-factly, as Remy turned various shades of crimson. Logan had just more or less, told everyone that they are together. There are a lot of familiar faces in the crowd but there are quite a few new ones added in the six months he has been gone. And that made Remy nervous, he groans through grit teeth as another wave of pain washes over him.

Logan could smell the new anxiety and fear washing over Remy, and worst of all he could smell pain. Everyone crowds a bit closer and there are various choruses of _"Hello!","Hi Remy!", "Welcome back!"_ and "_We missed you!" _from the group gathering around them.

Sensing his fear rising, Wolverine pulls Gambit and Belle closer to him, he looks around the crowd. A lot of the newer girls are looking at Remy almost licking their chops. Even a few of the newer boys, look aroused by his presence and most of the ones reacting to him are straight.

Remy's Hypnotic Charm.

When Remy gets nervous, he begins charming people, sometimes without even knowing it. It was the main cause of a lot of his mental and physical anguish growing up. Logan knew he felt it to be better to seduce a person to do sexual things to him rather than violent things or kill him. Wave after wave of charm washes through the crowd, causing the crowd press closer to the two of them shouting. He has to get back up and the rest of small group departing from the Blackbird.

"_Hank, Scott!!"_

Beast comes hurdling through the crowd, Scott coming up close behind him, Logan screams,

"_Everyone…"_

The crowd grows silent.

" _Gambit needs medical attention, move back! And if ya don't wanna lose a limb, or yer life, I suggest ya stay the hell outta my way. "_

Logan moves in closer behind Beast so he can protect Remy from unwanted touches. Suddenly he stops in his tracks, Remy raising a fearful, questioning brow. The crowd is growing loud again.

"_I'm telling them."_

He growls, Remy knows not to fight him, plus he can feel Belle stirring under the blanket, besides he is too busy concentrating on hiding his pain.

" '_K"_

"_X-men!"_

A hush falls over the room.

"_I just wanted the many of ya who haven't figured it out yet, to know. This man, Remy LeBeau, also known to many of ya as Gambit, is the love of my life, my mate. But he is also the bearer of life to my daughter. Any of you who have a problem with that or with him can answer to my blades. That is all."_

Remy cries out, no longer able to hide the pain he is experiencing. He can feel the same dropping sensation he felt before. His heart fills with fear, now he knows he's experiencing contractions again. He reaches out again, trying to find any kind of link with his unborn.

'_Why don' Remy hav' a link t' y', petit?'_

He worries. Logan looks to him his eyes wide with concern.

"_Rem?'_

"_Somet'ings' wrong, Cher."_

_Note from the Author:_

_Thanks for all the reviews, guys! I mean it! They have been keeping me going! So many chapters left to post, get another one a.s.a.p! -k_

_**I'm dedicating this chapter to a reader. I just wanted to thank BJ2 for being fantastic, and unknowingly becoming the wind in my sails. Thanks for your kind words and reviews! – K xoxo!**_


	5. Chapter 5: Struggle

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/ Rape/Romantic

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

After years of friendship, Logan and Remy have finally found happiness together. On the night after their private nuptials, what happens when their world is torn apart by Sinister's evil plans? Will he discover Remy's secret, or will Logan find him in time to save him?

* * *

Chapter 5: Struggle

***

"_Rem?'_

"_Somet'ings' wrong, Cher."_

Logan rushes through the crowd as Belle begins to cry, Remy is crying as well, panting lightly again. Jubilee and Cyclops fall into line behind Logan rushing to med-bay. Beast, Cyclops, Jubilee, Gambit holding Belle and Wolverine wait for the elevator. Jubilee starts crying.

"_You're not gonna die, right Gambit? I just gotcha back!"_

Though he is being bombarded by everyone's conflicting emotions of concern, worry and love, Jubilee and Logan's being the strongest. Cradling Belle closer to his chest, he reaches out weakly ruffling Jubilees' hair,

"_Non, petit. Y' kno' Rem'll a'ways b' 'ere fo' y'."_

She looks up to him her eyes brimming with tears, his heart breaking for causing her such pain. The ding of the elevator resounds throughout the hallway, and they all quickly pack into the elevator. Beast puts in the password to shut down the elevators to the med-floor once they arrive at their destination.

"_Did ya' really just have a baby?"_

Remy wants to reply, but his panting is cut off by the groan fighting its way up his throat, his forehead breaking out in a cold sweat. He can feel the enclosed space beginning to spin, his mind awash in pain and nausea.

"_Henri, ma fille, s'il vous plaît. Argh!"_

(Henri, my daughter, please.)

Groaning again, this time much louder and longer, Gambit fights for control over his body. Beast steps in quickly pulling the blanket down and gently taking Belle from Remy's possession. Remy's gasps are cut off when the darkness consumes him, Jubilee faints as well, upon sight of the child, she couldn't believe it. Scott moves quickly to catch her. Logan's tears stream down his face. They have been in the elevator only a few seconds, yet it feels like years. He brushes a kiss across the head of the now unconscious Cajun in his arms. He can smell the coppery scent of blood filling the elevator in a sickening manor. Beast clears his throat obviously picking up the same scent.

Hank knows if he were to mention the scent he can already tell Logan has picked up on, it might be just enough to break Logan. Instead he focuses his attention on the tiny girl in his arms, studying her for a moment. She resembles Logan in hair color and her eyes were hauntingly like his though there is a possibility they might change, but her delicate features were definitely that of the Cajun's. He strokes her cheek; she holds his furry finger, as she studies his face for a moment. The elevator door opens. They pile out quickly. As they rush into med bay, they run into Jean, who had already rushed back there getting things ready for their arrival.

Jean takes Belle from Beast to get her cleaned up, checked out and into an incubator. As she turns to leave the room she instructs Scott to leave Jubilee on one of the spare beds up front. Beast bursts through the OR's doors and rushes to get sanitized and gloved. Wolverine carries his love into the OR, wearing the look as though he is bringing a lamb in to slaughter and places Gambit gently on the operating table in the center of the room.

Beast instructs him to roll the ultrasound machine over next Remy. Which Logan does promptly, wheeling the machine next to his love, then the *schickt sound of one of his blades on his right hand came out. He gently and carefully cut the belt, then the pants that were too large for Remy's slight frame, then he carefully cut the rest of his shirt off. There is still a very noticeable curve to his abdomen, and the slight swell to his pecs, is almost too cute for words. Beast, covers Remy in a white sheet, then shoves some smelling salts into his hands,

"_Wake him, quickly."_

Logan waves the salts under his nose, as Beast runs his hands over Remy's stomach; he reaches for the base of his abdomen as Remy comes to. As he applies pressure, Remy screams, the pain so intense.

Once he is fully lucid and yet engulfed in a pain-filled haze, he begins to panic, realizing he had passed out.

"_Belle!"_

He tries sitting up, as Logan rushes to the head of the bed, Remy cries out again clutching his abdomen, Logan reaches down, placing a supportive hand on the apex of the swell. He places his other arm around the back of his loves shoulder's. Beast tries to have him lay down, Remy's panic increases when he realizes his sudden lack of clothes.

"_Mes vêtements!"_

(My clothes!)

He tries to cover his chest with his arm, pulling at the sheet weakly. The cinnamon colored strands, dampened by the sweat he is expelling from the pain and fear he is radiating. Both Logan and Hank know by the scent, they didn't have to be empaths like Remy to know that. Logan stokes his cheek pulling him close,

"_No Remy, we had to get you out of them, Hank had to examine you."_

"_Perhaps it would be best if I got him a gown to wear. It might help reduce his panic and the feeling of vulnerability."_

He rushes away and quickly returns with a gown.

"_Here Logan, help him slip into this. But put it on backwards I need to be able to get to his stomach to place the sensors."_

"_Yeah, okay."_

Helping him get dressed, a few seconds later, Remy cries out again, throwing his body upright and clutching his belly, he can barely breathe the feeling like his body is being torn apart is almost too much to take. Beast's look of worry switches to concern, he palms Remy's stomach and he shakes his head. Logan begins to feel the panic embracing his heart.

"_What's goin' on Blue?"_

"_Logan, I'm going to have to strap his ankles down, quickly help him lie down and hold him. I have to do an ultrasound. I'm afraid we're too late, I think he's already entered the second stage of labor."_

"_What?"_

Logan looks down to Remy, who smiles back at him weakly, lifting his hand slowly to take Logan's.

"_Rem?"_

"_Oui, mon amour."_

_(Yes, my love.)_

"_Oh, Rem. Dammit kid."_

They both knew what that meant, in Remy's weakened condition; one or both of them might not make it. Logan's eyes brim with tears, Remy feebly pulls Logan toward himself.

Remy is looking deeply into Logan's eyes as Logan presses his forehead against Remy's, his empathetic shields dropping and he projects his pain into the room. Beast grunts loudly as does Wolverine the contraction rips through invisible wombs on their bodies. Gambit hearing their pained groans raises his shields again.

"_Désolé."_

_(Sorry.)_

"_It's fine beautiful, please share yer pain with me. Lemme help ya."_

Logan strokes the sweat soaked strands out of Remy's face.

"_Logan, w'ere's Belle?"_

"_Jeanie's got her Darlin', she's safe."_

"_Gambit."_

Wolverine looks up at Beast as does Remy. Remy clears his throat, panting lightly trying his best to mask the pain.

"_Guess when y' gamble, y' go all in."_

Logan strokes his cheek, while Beast begins running the wand over his light swell. Beast nods lightly, pointing to the ultrasound screen. Remy smiles slightly,

"_Dere's de o'der enfant, eh, Henri?"_

"_Here he is, Remy, a son. They're both very early, Rem. We got lucky with Belle… but oh my stars and garters.'_

_ "Un fils…"_

_(A son.)_

Remy is cut off crying out as another contraction rips through his broken body.

"_What? What is it Blue? You're scaring me…"_

Logan pleads hugging Remy close, while his love sobs the newest contraction out into the front of his scrubs shirt.

"_Well we have two problems. One. The baby is breech, Logan. Second. I'm not registering a heartbeat."_

"_Dead!"_ Remy screams. He growls loudly as a stronger contraction engulfs his frail body. Jean burst into the operating room in scrubs. She had three different IV's in her hands: saline and two bags of O-negative blood.

"_Logan strap his arms down, we gotta get these IV's in him quickly. He's losing too much blood, too fast."_

Remy heard the word straps and suddenly began panicking. He screams and cries, trying his best to get off the table. Logan knows Remy is now re-living every terrifying memory that invaded his nightmares, every time he falls asleep.

"_I t'ought dis was ov'r. I shou'd 'ave known."_

Logan's tears are running faster down his cheeks, having to choke back the sob knowing there is nothing he can do. Logan caught the terrified alien eyes in his, as he held Remy's arms down, buckling the delicate, bruised pale wrists into the straps above his head.

"_Don' Logan, don' s'il vous plaît!"_ Remy screams.

"_Rem, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."_

Remy thrashes as Jean tries to put in the first IV, screaming Logan's name in fear, pulling at the restraints. Logan catches glimpse of red out of the corner of his eye, knowing that it was coming from the birth sight and its fresh blood. The way Remy is thrashing in the table, the stench of pain, blood and worse, terror lingering in the air, Logan knows Remy is reliving his worst nightmare.

"_Sini'ter, leave me be. Don' 'urt mon fil, s'il vous plaît!"_

Logan is falling apart by the time she got the third IV in, the nausea from the olfactory overload nearly getting the best of him, but he knew he had to shake it off for Remy's sake. Hank has Remy's feet up in stirrups to check dilation, nodding to Logan. Wasting no time, Logan quickly slices off his wrist restraints, and then quickly wraps his arms around his love, holding Remy in a hug as Hank gets his ankles untied. Logan sobbing repeatedly, _"I'm so sorry."_

Remy screaming, _"I t'ought dis was ov'r."_

Logan holds the sobbing man close, crying nearly as hard as he is.

"_It's over. It's over. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." _

Hank yells over them,

"_Five centimeters and holding."_

Jean, standing close nods, then walks over to the couple. She places her hands on Remy's temples, then concentrates. After a few moments Remy falls into a light sleep, Jean trying to take away some of the exhaustion. Logan follows Hank, screaming after him.

"_Give him a pain killer or something! Can't up see he's dying, Blue!"_

"_I can't Logan; you know how sensitive he is to painkillers and sedatives! It could kill him and any chance we might have of saving the baby. You know I would never hurt Remy. Or cause him pain, but-"_

Looking defeated, Wolverine bows his head,

"_Yeah. I know but I gotta help him."_

Logan thought for a second, then he heard Remy cry out in his sleep, and felt a touch of the pain from the lightest drop in his shield.

"_His shield! That's it!"_

"_Hank. You, and Jean need to get outta here now, I'm gonna have him drop his shield, only I could stand up to the pain. I've gotta help him."_

Hank nods quickly, pats Logan's shoulder then heads for the door, nearly dragging Jean behind him. Jean protesting all the way.

Logan walks over to the bed, takes Remy's hand in his, kisses it then pats his cheek waking him from his sleep.

"_Rem, darlin'?"_

Logan looks over to the machine reading the contractions, and the upcoming one is spiking greatly. Remy seems almost drunk from the pain.

"_Quoi?"_

_ (What?)_

"_Rem, darlin'. Drop yer shield."_

Silence.

"_Rem?" _

* * *

**Note from the Author: **

Hi everyone! I hate to leave you with another cliffhanger, but how else am I going to get you addicted to this story, am I right? Anywho, I want to thank everyone for your notes of praise and encouragement and as a bonus for being the best readers ever, if I get a few reviews in the next 24 hours I will upload the next chapter. So get those reviews in!

I also wanted to say a super special thanks to BJ2 and Kawaii Yuki-chan for their dedication to the story and sweet notes! Keep it up. Thank you!

– K xoxo


	6. Chapter 6: Overwrought

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/ Rape/Romantic

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

After years of friendship, Logan and Remy have finally found happiness together. On the night after their private nuptials, what happens when their world is torn apart by Sinister's evil plans? Will he discover Remy's secret, or will Logan find him in time to save him?

* * *

Chapter 6: Overwrought

***

_***Warning: This chapter is a bit more graphic then the norm, labor and delivery is a messy business. But I tried to keep it as vaguely descriptive as possible. -K***_

"_Rem, darlin'?"_

Logan looks over to the machine reading the contractions, and the upcoming one is spiking greatly. Remy seems almost drunk from the pain.

"_Quoi?"_

_(What?)_

"_Rem, drop yer shield."_

Silence.

"_Rem?"_

He studied intently on how deep the furrows were in Remy's brow as he slowly opens his eyes.

"_Non."_

He states hoarsely, and then falls unconscious again. Hank who has been watching from the monitor, quickly rolls in a cart with a covered tray on top, holding another pack of smelling salts.

"_Logan you better make this one work, we can't give him another one."_

Tossing it to Logan, he runs them under his nose as the current contraction spikes. Gambit awakens with a scream, he grasps Logan's collar pulling him close.

"_Logan!"_

Remy pants aloud, Logan looks worriedly over Remy's condition, on the verge of a breakdown. Remy is so pale, he's practically transparent, it made the red in his alien eyes burn like fire. He knew Remy is fighting the pain, never wanting to show a sign of weakness. The crimson soaked sheets at the foot of the bed emanate a stench Logan can barely stomach, the metallic scent of his love's blood. Damn his hyper senses!

There is so much in fact, it is dripping from the edge of the exam table into a scarlet puddle, pooling onto the alabaster floor. His sweat drenched body so frail, except for the slight bulge in his lower abdomen, Logan could smell his fear and feel his pain as it seeps through the shield, he's left up. Sinister had designed it to be this painful, knowing of Remy's allergy to pain meds. He shrieks as another contraction tears through his broken body causing his head to rare back into the pillow, as his back arched painfully.

Logan yells for Hank to return,

"_Hank!"_

Hank comes barreling around the corner, Jean hot on his heels with fresh sheets.

Logan doesn't know what to do other than hold Remy close; whispering words of encouragement and love, to the one he cared most for in this world. It is after all, his fault Remy is suffering like this.

'_I should have known better or something… he's a man but so what. He is a powerful mutant, whose powers have been known for their evolutionary ability. Why wouldn't he be able to bear children?' _Logan berates himself.

He could feel him growing weaker in his arms, all he could do is whimper aloud as the contractions crash over him, the agony drawing more tears and nausea. The higher the contraction mounted the worse it got.

"_Lo, Cher! Gon' be sick."_

Hank acts quickly handing Jean a plastic basin. Logan helps sit him up as he whimpers loudly again, clutching his stomach, trying desperately to breathe. As the contraction reaches it's apex, Remy begins to sob as the sickness washes over him, pushing him to the edge of nausea then pushing him over into the sickness. Jean rushes to their aid, holding the basin. Logan holds him up as he is sick, stroking his back and holding his hair, as Remy sobs through the contraction, then retches again.

Finally Logan breaks as the tears splash down his cheeks, but the tears dry up quickly as his rage takes over. When the sickness passes, Logan helps lie him down again.

"_Hank ! We gotta give him something."_

"_Logan we can't, it's too far progressed and he's a high risk patient. You know what medications do to him, besides there are two things you are not taking into consideration."_

Remy grunts loudly, Logan screams again.

"_Hank please!"_

"_I'm sorry, Logan. But we don't know what Sinister has already gotten into his system, besides have you thought about the baby? What if your son has the same reaction as Remy has? An adult might survive but an infant will not."_

He says shaking his head as he lifts the sheet, seeing Remy is at full dilation and had already subconsciously started pushing. Hank could see a foot,

'_Incomplete breech, going to have to use Pinard's Maneuver to guide the other foot down,_' he thinks inwardly.

"_Remy, don't push yet, I have to help guide him out."_

"_Oui…" _ He replies weakly.

But when Beast steps in to try and help the other foot out he found it was almost too late, the baby's hips were already halfway into the birth canal.

Remy howls, screaming in pain as he felt something in the lower half of his extremities ripping and the hot, sticky feeling of blood clinging to his thighs. As Beast blood-covered gloves carefully maneuver around the tender area trying to guide the boy out. The world turned white as Remy breathes, trying to control the unrelenting pain. Logan leans in holding him close. For his second delivery in twelve hours the pain is much worse than before; and this time he is losing enough blood to really worry about dying.

"_We're going to have to be careful, Remy. I don't want this delivery to result in broken bones."_

Remy nods, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood, Hank continues,

"_In a moment when this next contraction begins, I want you to push, we're going to have to get the baby's' hips the rest of the way in the canal. I hope you have enough clearance."_

"_Y' an' I bot' mon ami!"_

Remy grunts through clenched teeth, as the contraction builds and he begins pushing, reinjuring all the muscles that withstood so much damage only hours before, but this time with a larger child, the muscles stretch and tear further.

Logan is patting Remy's face and neck with a cool rag, as he huffs through the second set of contractions since he has started pushing, his teeth grit. The rag felt like ice on the fiery heat of his skin, a welcomed relief.

Remy screams again, using Logan's shoulder, pulling himself into a half seated position he pushes a third time. Logan pats his face again whispering 'I love you's and I'm sorry's.'

Remy takes three deep breaths, bearing his teeth and clutching his stomach, he pushes with everything he has. He wails when he feels as something really tear inside him. He could feel the hot gush of blood now exiting his body.

"_Success the legs in now in position, your son will be born soon, Remy."_

Logan screams at Hank, _"We've gotta do somethin'! It's killing him, please!!!"_

"_Non!"_

Remy screams as he pushes again, knowing he is running dangerously short on energy. He is completely exhausted, and the baby is barely halfway out. Hank looks up at the crumpled white ghost of man lying before him, knowing his time is almost up. Hank knows he has to do something to help, or Remy is a goner. Remy props himself up on his elbows as Logan embraces him, tears spilling down both their cheeks.

"_Rem, stop bein' so damn stubborn! Please lemme help ya. Please give some of this burden ta me."_

"_Non, Cher. Remy, 'as t' prove 'imself t' y'. I can do it, J'suis desole'."_

"_No, that's crazy. Please, I'm begging ya!"_

"_Mebbe crazy, mais dat's 'ow it is."_

Remy howls nearly blacking out from the pain, falling onto his back when the baby's hips finally give way to his pelvic bone, sliding into the birth canal. Hank carefully pushes the baby back inside him just enough for him to dig inside his friend and gently guide the baby's arms into the already crowded area.

Remy has no strength left, all he can do is moan, sob and occasionally scream as things tear and when Beasts' claws accidently scrape the walls of his makeshift uterus causing even more blood to pour.

Jean rushes into the make-shift labor and delivery ward. She could hear Remy's screaming from the elevator. She takes in the scene, Remy LeBeau is lying on the examination table, feet up in stirrups with the wrong half of an infant being delivered from his lower extremities, while Logan sobs and cries holding the dying man in his arms.

The blood, oh the blood, it's everywhere. Even Beast is crying while he helps guide the infant out. Remy sobs, occasionally gasping in pain, while he fights to keep his Red on Black eyes open. Finally Beast gets the arms into place,

"_Remy, I need you to push, just two more okay?"_

"_Rem' can't do it. Too tired, cut 'im out, Remy jus' gon' die now."_

"_No Remy, no!"_

Logan howls.

As Jean makes her way quickly to assist them, her heart breaking as she hears Remy's pleas and cries for relief. But she could feel a powerful energy building and tugging at her shields getting closer. It's an ominous presence, one she has felt before.

"_Hank, what's happening?"_

"_Jean, thank God you're here. Remy's still losing a lot of blood, I'm getting worried, his energy supply is too low to ensure a safe delivery."_

"_But I thought you were going to-"_

Remy cries out pushing again, Beast keeping the infant in position to deliver the head.

"_He had already started pushing when he was fully dilated, so we couldn't do a Caesarian."_

Hank tries his best to keep his conversation in hushed tones. Nonetheless forgetting Wolverine is Remy's better half.

"_Whatda' ya mean Hank?"_

Logan says darkly, the schickt of his claws can be heard as it resounds throughout the chamber, a dangerous flash of yellow bolting through his eyes. Jean making her way over to Logan, wrapping an arm around him as she leads him back over to Remy.

"_Come on Logan, Remy needs you."_

Regret and sadness washes over Logan sending the anger and animalistic protection mode that had temporarily taken over him into retreat.

'_How could I leave him in his time of need?'_

He quickly rushes back to Remy taking his head in one arm's embrace and his hand in the other. Jean didn't like the nagging power that seems to be surging closer. Remy is fading quickly, he pleads,

"_Hank, get 'im out, s'il vous plait! Can't do it, save mon fils!"_

"_Remy if there is any chance at saving your son, I need you to push, "_

Remy knew how much blood he has lost, he knew there was no way he could cheat death, like he could cheat at cards. But he also knew he wasn't taking his son with him. He pain-drunkenly pushes himself upright and screams as he bears down knowing he could be yielding a dead son. That fact alone is killing him, clenching his teeth as the pain builds to an all time high. He sobs loudly as he forces the muscles to give. Logan pats his brow with a damp rag, as Beast gently strokes his ankle.

"_Just one more Remy. You can do it."_

He wants to quit, but knew this is his son's only chance at survival. He looks to Logan, his breathing ragged.

" '_Old me, Cher."_

Logan throws the rag down sitting next to Remy on the bed holding him close. Taking a deep breath, Remy releases a war cry as he pushes with every ounce of energy he had left. He shrieks, as silence enters the world, finally feeling the head exiting his body. Hank sends Jean for the Prenatal Life Support Unit as he quickly cleans out the baby's mouth and nose. He is trying his hardest to fight the tears as he hears Remy's faint whimpers and Logan's sobs, while he gives the tiny life CPR. But the overall silence is deafening.

"_Please little one, pull through. Please, don't let Sinister win."_

* * *

**Note from the Author:**

Hi Guys!

Sorry to take so long in posting this chapter. I had to fly a do some film work down in the **Big Easy** so I haven't had much time to get things posted. So what do you think is going to happen next? Who could that ominous presence be? What does the future hold for our heroes and their new family? To find out what happens next, review, review, review!!!

Thanks for reading and stay tuned! ~K xoxox


	7. Chapter 7: Second Chances

**SHAPE OF MY HEART**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/ Rape/Romantic

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!**_

–_**Management. LOL.**_

After years of friendship, Logan and Remy have finally found happiness together. On the night after their private nuptials, what happens when their world is torn apart by Sinister's evil plans? Will he discover Remy's secret, or will Logan find him in time to save him?

* * *

Chapter 7: Second Chances

***

Hank is trying his hardest to fight the tears as he hears Remy's faint whimpers and Logan's sobs, while he gives the tiny life CPR. But the overall silence is deafening.

"_Please little one, pull through. Please, don't let Sinister win."_

After a few minutes, Beast decides to call the time of death; suddenly a small wail announces his presence. Beast can feel the overwhelming emotion building, as he quickly wraps the little boy, and places him on the now flattened portion of Remy's lower abdomen as he delivers the afterbirth. Once Remy is cleaned and stitched Hank turns to Jean, something definitely amiss. She smiles at him warmly, yet he felt an icy chill pass through him.

"_Let's give them a moment together, Jean."_

"_Of course, Hank."_

She smiles sweetly as she follows him out to the hall, as soon as the door closes behind them a bolt of light flashes behind Beast. He turns quickly watching Jean-Gray morph into Mr. Sinister.

"_Essex. I knew it! I could sense you, somehow. Coming back to finish what you started?"_

"_Did you really think I would allow you to keep my favorite pet, McCoy?"_

"_He's not a science project, Nathan. He's dying, you made sure of that didn't you?"_

"_He's mine to toy with, Hank. And you and the other pesky X-men will not be standing in the way of my ultimate experiment."_

Beast opens his mouth to reply, but is shocked into darkness as he sees an unconscious Jean Gray being drug into the side room by Vertigo.

Sinister, hands a similar morphing device to Vertigo.

"_Vertigo morph into Jean Gray, I'll call you when I need your help until then secure the area."_

"_Yes, Master Sinister, whatever you say."_

***

(Meanwhile…)

Remy is crying lightly, as Logan slides in behind the Cajun. He knows he needs help as he watches him shakily hold their son, in total awe of Remy's strength. Logan knows how weak he is right now, yet he looks stunning. He brushes a kiss across the back of the Cajun's head as they both cry gently, looking down upon their surprise gift. Their son. He pulls them closer, brushing small kisses across Remy's pale, clammy neck.

"_Ya did it Rem, he's okay. He's beautiful. Look."_

Remy tiredly looks down upon his beautiful son their eyes locking, red on black piercing one another. He smiles knowing they're just as Logan had requested. Remy starts to weep as he fights the darkness trying to take over, he doesn't want to leave. He wants to wrap himself in the warmth of the love Logan is projecting towards him. The baby begins to whimper softly, as Logan strokes Remy's cheek. Leaning forward he kisses it, then whispers in his ear,

"_Whadda ya' wanna name him, darlin'?"_

"_J-James-Luc Leroy,"_

"_James?"_

"_He 'as to 'ave y'r first name, Luc aft'r mon pere and Leroy means king." _

He says weakly stroking the beautiful, pinkish cheek with his pale thumb. He can feel the inky, black of unconsciousness fighting its way to the surface his eyelids getting heavier by the moment.

"_Seems fittin'. I love ya with all ma' heart, Remy Lebeau."_

"_Je vous aime, Logan. Je suis désolé."_

And with that Remy, allows the darkness to take him, at the same time the baby seems to fade as well.

"_Remy!"_

Hank rushes in taking the infant from Remy's arms calling to Jean,

"_Get the child on life-support then get him on the blackbird, take him to Children's and ask for Doctor Greg Menez. He's a NICU specialist. Hurry!"_

She nods and then is gone before Logan can even ask what is wrong; Beast has an oxygen mask on Remy and has rushed him out the door as well.

Logan is left standing there with tears in his eyes and questions on his lips. After a moment he thinks to follow Beast, so he rushes out of the OR after him. He looks up both sides of the long hallway and can't even sniff a trace of them, all he can do is fall to the floor, his head in his hands, sobbing.

Scott saunters in wanting to ask Jean a question, surprised to find instead, a very broken Wolverine. He is sobbing in the middle of the hall, covered in what must be Remy's blood. The crimson contrasts severely with the sterile, white walls and floor of the medical unit. He rushes over to him, sliding across the floor taking his friend in his arms.

"_Logan! What happened, where is everyone? Is Remy okay?"_

Logan looks up to him, with a surprised expression, until he heard Remy's name causing him to sob much harder. Scott just held him letting him get it all out. He is surprised Logan's display of emotion, he doesn't think Logan is heartless but Scott always thought of Logan as unshakable.

He strokes his friends back, but suddenly finds himself slammed up against the wall of the hallway. Logan is holding him up by his throat, a darkness clouding his features and a wild yellow taken to his eyes.

"_Lo-gan!"_ Scott chokes out.

He growls deeply then throws Scott to the floor, howling as he runs out of the lab. Leaving Scott on all fours trying to recover from the lack of oxygen, a few seconds longer and he would have blacked out.

'_I've gotta warn the others he's gone feral!' He thought to himself._

* * *

_Note from the Author:_

_HI GUYS! Hope this chapter was worth the wait! I really hope you enjoy this chapter; the emotional content is beginning to pick up a bit. The next few chapters will be a little more graphic, but I promise to make it tasteful and to keep the storyline moving along nicely. I'm sorry for the multiple cliffhanger endings, but I will try to add upcoming chapters two at a time if possible. I will be uploading the next chapter tomorrow. Thanks for your patience and for reading my fic! _

_Remember, reviews make my day! Let me know what you think, I'm dying to hear from all of you! –xoxo K!_


	8. Chapter 8: Dire Circumstances

**Shape of my heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/ Rape/Romantic

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

**Chapter 8:****Dire Circumstances**

*******

'_I've gotta warn the others he's gone feral!' _

Scott thinks to himself. After a few moments he recovers scrambling to his feet. He rushes toward the elevators, when it opens Iceman and Colossus step out, chatting merrily.

"_Bobby, Piotr! I need your help; we've got to find Logan. He's gone feral! He has to be locked in the danger room!"_

"_What?"_ Bobby asks, "_What the hell does that mean?"_

"_We will help you_." Piotr says matter-of-factly.

"_What the hell are ya talking about, Slim?"_

Bobby yells, grabbing Scott's arm as he turns to rush off.

"_Scott, what the hell is going on?"_

Scott rubs his temples trying to stave off the oncoming headache; he doesn't have time to play life-in-review with Ice cube.

"_Bobby, there is a side to Wolverine, you don't know about a lot don't. Under great stress or dire circumstances, he becomes feral, meaning when he can't handle it, he just gives into his wild, animalistic side. He is very dangerous like this because he doesn't recognize friend from foe. The only person who can stop him when he's like this is Remy and he's not here. So we've got to trap him and lock him in the danger room. Okay, now let's get going."_

Bobby just nods, knowing he really doesn't understand what is going on, he turns and rushes after Cyclops and Colossus.

***

Colossus transforms as he makes his way up the hall, following the scored walls and marred furniture. As he rounds the corner he hears growls,

"_Logan?"_

Colossus looks behind himself seeing a body looking very much like Logan stalking up behind him, but Piotr could see what he meant. It might look like Logan but the Wolverine has completely taken over. Colossus rushes toward him hoping to grab him as Bobby sends a wave of Ice toward Logan to prevent him from moving. Logan growls loudly, slashing through the wave, as he turns diving out the window.

***

Cyclops rushes back down to the infirmary, hoping to head off Logan looking for Remy. As he rushes through the airlock leading to Med-bay he sees Hank, wandering up the hall with Jean thrown over his shoulder, holding his head in his left hand.

"_Hank!"_

"_Scott!"_

"_What happened here? Jean!"_

Hank hands Scott his wife.

"_Sinister. He came back for Remy. If we don't find him soon, he'll be dead, the boy as well."_

"_Boy?"_ Bobby asks.

"_His son. Where's Logan?"_ Hank says, looking around frantically.

"_He's gone feral. The Professor is trying to locate him as well as Colossus and Iceman. Is Jean okay?"_

Scott says, calmly trying to help Hank focus.

"Yes, get her up to bed; we've got a family to save. Tell the Professor to forget about Logan, tell him to try and locate Remy. If Logan is feral, the Wolverine will be looking for its mate and kits. He'll be fine. Grab Bobby and Piotr and meet me on the blackbird in five minutes."

Scott nods his head, then rushes to get Jean to safety.

'_Sinister, it's not like I'm not thankful for you leaving my wife and I alone for once…'_ Scott says internally, but voices his last thought.

"_But why Gambit?"_

"_R-Rem-y…"_ Jean mumbles, her eyes fluttering.

"_Remy!"_

She throws herself upright; her panic nearly knocks both of them down.

"_Where is he? Scott, what's happening?"_

"_Jean, what happened?"_

"_Vertigo attacked me disguised as Hank. Where is Remy?"_

"_Sinister has him and the infant."_ Scott says.

"_They'll die!"_

Jean cried out feeling responsible for the loss of her friend and his child. Her tears begin to fall.

"_I know. I'm taking you upstairs, then Hank and I are goin-"_

"_Scott, put me down I'm fine! I'm coming with you, Remy needs us!"_

Scott ignores the boom of Phoenix's voice, shaking his head '_no_' at his wife, as he hit his com badge,

"_Professor!"_

"_Yes, Scott?"_

"_Have you found Gambit or Wolverine yet?"_

"_No luck with Remy so far, but I've got a trace on Logan. Bobby and Piotr are in pursuit."_

The small team springs into action.

**Note from the Author: **

**Hi, Everyone! **

**I hate to leave everyone with such a cliffhanger but there is more to come, I promise! This was a last minute decision to upload. Please review this chapter and let me know what you think, K? That's my promise to you: You guys review, I'll post new chapters!**

**This chapter seemed to drag a bit but we're getting ready for the good stuff, so it has to drag a little sometime. Lol. Get ready for angsty goodness next chapter. As I told you last chapter, it will get a little more graphic over the next few chapters. Nothing too insane, just a little more hardcore than, your ol' pal Kurenai normally writes. **

**Can't wait to hear from you! Thanks for reading!-xoxo K**


	9. Chapter 9: Nature of the Wolverine

**Shape of My Heart**

**By**_**: Kurenai LeStrange**_

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Warnings: Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/ Rape/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

**Chapter 9: Nature of the Wolverine**

Scott ignores the boom of Phoenix's' voice, shaking his head at his wife as he hit his com badge the tension thick in the air.

"_Professor!" _

"_Yes Scott?"_

"_Have you found Gambit or Wolverine yet?"_

"_No luck with Remy so far, but I've got a trace on Logan."_

"_We're on it!"_

The team springs into action, racing up the hall.

***

Wolverine is on the hunt. He has to find his mate and Kits. They need him, he has to protect them, he knows as well as anyone they will die without him. The abounding rage is blinding him and there are way too many scents to track. So many in fact, they are beginning to confuse him. He has to clear the rage and fear clouding his mind and focus if he's is going to be able to find his family. Logan tries to push the feral nature of the wolverine aside and regain the control of hisself.

Breathing deeply he focuses, pulling his consciousness to the surface. He knows he and the Wolverine will have to work together to find their family. He ran back down the hall toward med-bay stopping quickly to sniff the air, finally he caught it.

His breath catching in his chest, his mind racing,

"Belle!"

Logan rushes toward the nursery facility, he stops in front of the door. Her scent saturating the air, he growls ferociously when he catches the overwhelming scent of her fear. He reaches for the door handle, but it is locked from the inside. The rage surges to an all time high; no one is keeping him from his daughter. He screams loudly as his claws are drawn and he slices through the door like a hot knife through butter, and then kicks the metal remnants down. He rushes in.

***

Up the hall Jean and Scott hear the ruckus,

"_Oh no."_

"_Jean he wouldn't kill his own child in this state would he?"_

"_I don't know all I can sense from him is rage."_

Scott reaches over tapping his com again.

"_Iceman, Colossus! I need you in med bay now!"_

Jean and Scott run towards med-bay.

***

Logan rushes into the nursery but doesn't find a trace of his daughter. Frantically he searches through the back rooms. He stops quickly, sniffing the air, her scent dissipating steadily. He closes his eyes concentrating all his focus into his hearing. He could hear the beeping of the monitors and the drip of the the IV's that Remy was previously hooked up to in the adjacent room. He could hear the gentle hum of the air conditioning and the running footsteps of his teammates from a distance but to no avail his daughter is lost to him.

Logan begins to panic, just when he is about to give up hope and give in letting desperation take a firm hold, he catches the sweetest sound in the world. The tiny muffled cries coming from the security closet in the very back. It was designed as a sort of sound proof panic room, so it blended into the room as just another wall; there was a painting hanging over the doorway.

The tears begin to spill down Logan's cheeks as he rushes to the back corner, throwing the portrait off the wall, slicing through the security keypad underneath then throwing the door open. He fights a total breakdown when his sees his kit howling for his attention and protection. He retracts his claws then rushes to her side picking her up from the medical crib and holds her close. He pulls her blankets tighter as drops to his knees, choking back sobs as his precious angel cries for the return of Remy. He does the same knowing she is all he has left of Remy now.

His feral nature fully subsided into his subconscious as his fatherly instincts return, standing to his feet rocking his precious daughter until she quits crying. As he walks they just stare at one another, ice blue eyes studying ice blue eyes, trying to figure each other out. After a moment they make their way out of the back room and into the nursery. Logan already knew the team is there ready taking aim at them. Logan quickly turns his back shielding the side cradling his daughter. Releasing his claws with the other,

"_Never aim at my kit. Never or I'll gut ya!"_

He growls, barely recognizing his own voice. The razor sharp edge seething with fury and hatred quickly begins worrying him and scaring his daughter, who promptly releases an earsplitting howl.

"_Logan?"_

Jean walks up, gesturing for everyone to lower their weapons, whatever they were. Realizing he is scaring his daughter Logan begins to gently shush and cuddle Belle. Guilt overwhelming him for being such a monster. He turns back to see Cyclops's hand still up next to his visor.

"_Jeannie, call off the boy scout, before I turn 'im into a shish kabob."_

"_Scott!"_

Jean stood between Wolverine and the team with her hands up telling them to listen. Scott frowning nods a Jean, knowing she can handle Logan, then turns leaving to find Hank.

"_Just leave me and ma' kit be."_

Logan barks, desperately wanting a moment alone to bond with his daughter and calm her fears. He turns towards the back station where bottles and instant formula are located and begins preparing a bottle, sticking it in the microwave. The little girl cries softly as he shh's and rocks her, humming gently, calming her a bit as she begs softly for food. The microwave dings and he tests the formula on his wrist, it is perfect. He pops the bottle in her mouth as he rocks her lightly. Jean looks on in awe, as Ivan and Bobby watch in shock.

'_Wolverine taking on the role of doting dad, what the hell?'_

Bobby thinks to himself.

"_Shh… my precious angel, I'm here."_

He pulls the warmth of the blankets closer to her tiny body as she eats. He looks upon her, a piece of his and Remy' hearts in angelic form, he can actually hold in his arms. But he knows as well as she, there are pieces missing. Wolverine moves toward the rocking chair in the corner, his back still facing the other presences in the room.

He sits rocking her lightly, after a few moments he can take it no longer. He begins to weep helplessly in the pale moonlight, streaming in through the large picture window. Jean looks around at the men, taking in the scene herself. She telepathically tells the others to begin their search for Gambit and the infant. As they quietly and quickly back away, she walks toward the broken man she lovingly calls Logan.

Belle has fallen asleep with the bottle in her mouth; he removes it as he tries his best to retain control of his emotions. The shaking of his body could wake his sleeping beauty; her tiny hand wrapped around his ring finger. He wipes his eyes, breathing deeply; he strokes his daughter's cheek. He sighs, then clears his throat quietly,

"_Whadda' ya' want, Jean?" _He asks softly.

She didn't know what to say, she just stands there in silence.

"_Ya' gonna say somethin' or ya' just gonna stand there gawkin' all day?"_

She walks up behind him placing a hand on his shoulder, and then crouches down in front of him. He eyes her closely, trying to sniff out her intent; she hasn't been acting like herself.

"_Logan, I am so sorry about everything. I tried to fight him off but he caught me when my guard was down, Hank tried too, I heard him fighting-"_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Sinister."_

"_Sinister? Whaddar' ya' talkin' about?"_

"Oh God! Logan, I-"

He picks up a trace of guilt and regret, settling around her.

"_Jean, what aren't cha' telling me?"_

"_Mister Sinister. He has Remy and your son-"_

"_What! How?"_

Logan screams as he shoves himself upright startling the baby awake, she cries loudly to vocalize her anger.

"_Belle, darlin'. I'm sorry sweetheart, shhh, shhh it's gonna be okay. Here ya' need to eat."_

He takes the bottle in hand and puts it in her mouth and she begins on it again. The ferocity of the anger flaring Logan's nostrils and the narrowing of his eyes as he looks to Jean made her skin crawl a bit. Belle cries again, Logan remembers she has already begun showing signs of empathy.

Though she only a few hours old, the signs of Belle's mutations have made themselves known. A few examples being: her umbilical cord healing completely and to her ability to detect the emotions and intentions of those around her. He has to keep his anger in check, so he won't scare her.

"_Jean Gray, ya' better have coordinates ta' my family by the time I get my daughter ta sleep or so help me, ya' don't wanna know what'll happen."_

"_We've been trying to locate-"_

"_I suggest ya' quit tryin' and start findin', Remy's been through enough because of ya' people and to throw him to the wolves again when he's already physically compromised… To his mortal enemy no less is… is unforgivable. I'm holdin' ya' responsible!"_

He said as calmly as he could, trying not to upset his daughter again or burst into tears himself. He returns to the rocking chair sitting with his shoulders hunched. The tears crashing down his cheeks, just when he seemed to calm down, he bites his lip holding back the sob. Jean retreats for the door.

She wants so badly to run over to him and throw her arms around him and say, _'Everything is going to be okay.'_ She wanted to reach out and soothe the turmoil in his mind,

"_Leave Jean! Haven't ya' done enough?"_ Logan snaps.

Notes from the Author:

Hi, everyone!

Wow, sorry it took forever to get this chapter up. I have had so much going on with work and just getting out of the hospital (pneumonia) I just haven't been able to get it posted. To my loyal readers, I am sorry to let you down with only one chapter but I'll follow with a twofer soon! That's a promise, I just wasn't well enough to get more than this up. I had to update each of my other stories as well.

The chapter is a little rushed and sort of all over the place, but I promise it is all due to the overabundance of medication in my system. LOL.

_Hopefully, the next will be back up to Kurenai LeStrange standards! Thank you all for your continued support and please take a moment to review this chapter to renew my creative spirit. I am in desperate need of some refueling._

_Love you all much, _

_K xoxo_


	10. Chapter 10: Nightmares Revisited

**Shape of my heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/Rape/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

**Chapter 10: Nightmares Renewed**

"_Leave Jean! Haven't ya' done enough?" Logan snaps._

Jean's eyes fill with tears, the words stinging, but she knows in her heart Logan doesn't mean them. He has been through so much these last few months. With Remy gone the mental pain and anguish would have been enough to kill a normal person, human or mutant. But she knew as well as anyone Logan was not a normal person. She remembers the joy and hope Logan radiated when they were on the blackbird heading to New Orleans to rescue their beloved Cajun. So much has happened in those few hours since his return: the birth of their children, their son James flat lining, Sinister and Vertigo's infiltration leading to James' body and Remy being taken from Logan again, resulting in Logan going feral just trying to cope. Jean knows it wouldn't be any different, if it were her in his shoes.

"_How could I have not known or sensed his presence, how could I have just stood by as Sinister tears ma' family apart right in front of me!" _

Logan whispers, his voice drenched in regret with an echo of inner agony.

"_You couldn't have known, my friend; he's developed a terrifying new instrument used to morph his appearance all the way down to his scent, to match anyone's. Perfect clones, can you imagine? You couldn't have known. I couldn't even tell, Logan."_

Beast said as he padded into the room, patting Jean encouragingly on the shoulder as she turns to leave. She stops next to Hank, taking one last tearful look at the defeated man; the beaten down dog, she knows as Logan. She exits quickly, while Hank stands next to his friend, looking out the window, seeing the sunrise begin its colorful ascension over the rolling hills to the east, chasing away the darkness starting a new day.

The new day that was supposed to full of new hope and filled with happiness, celebration and new life has now been blemished with sorrow, renewed peril and loss. Logan felt the sharpest pang of anguish piercing his heart like a knife as he looks down upon the sleeping cherub in his arms, knowing his couldn't protect the rest of their family. He looks out at the new sunset, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, knowing another day is beginning without Remy by his side. A new dawn approaches and he doesn't even know if his son is dead or alive.

"_He took 'em, Hank. That madman has ma family."_

Logan's voice, noticeably cracking, Beast pretends he doesn't notice his friend in such a vulnerable state.

"_That might be true, Logan, but we're going to get them back. And we have dear Belle here with us; luckily Jean thought to hide her. She felt something was amiss, so she took extra precautions. And because of that Sinister doesn't even know of her existence."_

"_Jean saved her?"_

He looks down upon his daughter's sleeping face, stroking her cheek with his free hand. He looks at the bottle, she's barely touched. He bites his lip, looking away. He's completely ashamed of himself, thinking of all the hurtful things he had just said to Jean.

"_Yeah, they attacked just moments later. They got to Jean first; Vertigo transformed into her, then Sinister me. They took Remy and the boy and no one was any the wiser."_

"_He's going to kill him, Hank. There's no way he won't kill Remy this time. Who will be left to raise our daughter?"_

"_If indeed something tragic were to happen, which it won't of course. Surely you wouldn't kill yourself, would you Logan?"_

"_Course not, Hank. But it'd be a matter of time before… well, I mate for life and if-" _

Logan chokes back a whimper as his tiny daughter stirs in his arms.

"_Well, he and I are empathetically linked if something were to happen to one of us, shortly after the other dies. We can't live without each other; it might even affect our children. She won't eat, she knows something is wrong. Remy was bonded with them at conception… I don't know what to do!"_

Beast places his large blue paw on Logan's shoulder,

"_You, my friend, need to put this little girl to bed, and we're going to get her mother."_

Logan looks up at Beast reading the anger and intention in his features. Logan nods sternly, then caught on to what he had said, chuckling at the _'Mother' _comment. He knew Remy wouldn't have found the humor in it, but leave it to Hank to make that one of the ten jokes he's ever told in his life, to be under such dire circumstances.

***

**(Meanwhile…)**

"_Vertigo is the temporal rift in place?"_

She looks at the readings on the scanner again, holding the small boy close to her for warmth. They had a scare with him back at the mansion. When they transformed and walked in to see Remy and the infant being watched after so closely by Wolverine they knew they had to play their cards right.

As they walked in using their disguises, due to health complications the child's heart and lungs are they were not functioning properly. So after going multiple minutes without enough oxygen, the tiny thing began to slip into cardiac arrest. Sinister used that opportunity to his advantage. What Sinister didn't tell her was that, LeBeau is empathetically linked to the child so once the child's heart went into distress his did as well. Sinister being the medical genius he is; was able to get the child stabilized long enough for the journey to his lab for further diagnosis.

She'd always wanted kids; but because her powers are so extreme, it would take a real toll on her body and also eliminate any life growing within. At last she has her chance to be a mother, she smiles brightly cradling the tiny child closer into her protective embrace. She didn't like the Cajun, but she sure as hell would take his kid.

'_I only hope is that the accent isn't genetic.'_

She chuckled to herself, remembering how annoying she always thought LeBeau's Acadian accent was. She looks up and notices Sinister's stern look, she blushes, knowing she must have gotten carried off in her thoughts.

"_No, your Lordship we still have a minute or so until the portal opens."_

Though he is a great man of science and medicine, Sinister didn't seem worried about the dying man's health. Remy isn't going to be as fortunate as his son, Sinister knew shows him a kindness or especially mercy. She checks Remy's pulse, it is dropping quickly. They are out in the freezing cold, where he is practically naked, wearing a once white, now blood soaked sheet and some form of hospital gown. He is covered in sweat; his body has lost most of its color except for the rosy red of fever setting into his cheeks, chest and shoulders.

"_Sir, we're losing him, he won't make it through the rift."_

"_Fine, take the child ahead with you; reset the portal to open in ten minutes. I have seeds to plant."_

She nods as the portal opens in front of her and she jumps in with the little boy tucked close for protection. Sinister wraps his hand in a thick portion of Remy's silky Auburn hair, pulling the unconscious man closer to him. Sinister breathing in his spicy, heated scent, noticing it never changes. The aroma emanates more strongly, the higher his fever becomes. He looks over the young man's pale feminine and yet chiseled features, so soft and delicate yet strong and manly.

Though he's already given birth, the maternal glow is still enveloping him; it is almost ethereal, even on the brink of death. Sinister feels the stir of arousal, something he hasn't felt in a long time. He had often used LeBeau's charm to re-awaken the sexual part of himself that died with Nathaniel Essex, whenever he was his captive. Rape was one of the few things he still felt pleasure from, but it is only thrilling if the person being violated is awake to feel it. Remy's screams and pleas often incorporated that muddled Acadian French, always adding fuel to the fire.

Slapping the boy's cheeks, Remy wakens startled and hazy. After a few moments Remy's vision clears, Sinister's face comes into full view. The young man screams, shoving himself upright, trying to scramble away. The face of his life-long tormentor is staring back at him. Remy blinks trying to decide if it were just another nightmare. Sinister's razor sharp teeth are smiling eerily at him, as he cocks his head to the side studying the boy for a moment.

Everything feels so real, the cold gust of wind, blowing the sweat soaked, ginger strands into his pale face. He didn't know what is hurting him more: his body screaming in agony, every movement excruciating or the links between him and his children severed. He chokes back a sob as another cold gust rushes by, blowing the locks around his face like a ginger halo as the reality of the situation washes over him. The crystal orbs of fear splashing down his face in the dawns first light.

Sinister sneers at him,

"_So… You thought you were rid of me, my pet?"_

_**Notes from the Author:**_

_Hi guys!_

_Finally things are starting to pick up; the next chapter should be a real nail biter! I am excited at the number of responses I am getting from my last chapter. One of my readers, Kawaii has offered to do a picture in honor of it. I felt my eyes welling up just at the thought of it. You guys are so great! I hope to be posting more often over the next few weeks. When I can, I will start posting two chapters at a time again. But thanks for bearing with me and also, thank you so much for the well wishes! I am attempting to get better._

_This month, since I have been posting chapters in this story, "Shape of My Heart" has had: 921 hits and 288 visitors! Wow! That's more than the whole month of February and March isn't even over yet!_

_Yay! _

_Please continue with the reviews, because my creative fire needs some gasoline! Hope all of you are well!_

_-K xoxo!_


	11. Chapter 11: Truth Revealed

**Shape of my heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/Rape/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

* * *

**Chapter 11: Truth Revealed**

*******

Sinister reaching forward, pulling him up to eye level by his throat. Remy's panic can be felt through his broadcast of panic. Sinister smiles looking him in the eyes,

"_Now that I have your attention…"_

"_Mon Dieu (My God), why can't y' jus' let moi, die 'n peace?"_

Remy chokes out, gasping for breath as his grasps onto Sinister's metallic exterior of his forearms trying to allow the breath to rush in.

"_Whoever said you deserved a peaceful death? Besides, I just wanted to make sure you knew one important fact, LeBeau."_

"_W'at's dat? Y'll miss ol' Remy w'en 'es gone?" _

He says with a smirk. Even after everything the man had been through, he has the same unbreakable, defiant, cockiness burning in his eyes. He knows his small victory is short lived, when Sinister begins to smirk back. The lopsided grin filled with razor-sharp teeth, suddenly chills Remy to the bone.

"_All your efforts to keep your son from me were in vain, I told you that before you escaped. I will always have a LeBeau in my charge. I will raise him to respect and fear me; I will finally have the servant I have always deserved. Even if I have to break him, like I did his father."_

Remy's eyes grow wide in horror. His tears fall faster, as he gasps at the realization of the larger man's threats_._

"_Non! Take moi! Leave 'im be, mon fil is innocent. Rem'll b' da slave y' want."_

Sinister snarls at Remy in disgust.

"_I have long since tired of your disrespect and your attitude. Your resourcefulness has long since been over, I merely let you live to use your body and your powers to for an occasional quickening. You're nothing more than a whore, a concubine to use as I please. I have almost tired of that as well." _

He tosses the broken man, without care to his earlier sustained injuries, back onto the metal hover gurney. Remy lands with a sickening sound. He didn't know what hurt more: the painful landing or the truth in Sinister's words. His whole life he'd been nothing more than that to many, and when Logan told him he loved him, that's when everything changed. Sinister moves toward him, Remy shoves himself upright knowing he needs to get away but is too weak to do so. Remy feels the pain of things tearing and stitches pulling from the sudden movement, he groans wrapping an arm around his stomach. He could feel a warm, sticky wetness between his legs,

"_Oh please, don't get up on my account LeBeau,"_

He shoves him back down on the examination table, Remy sneers at him.

"_Je vous tuerai, le fils d'une chienne!"__ (I'll kill you, son of a bitch!) _

He hisses through the stinging pain.

"_That wasn't very polite LeBeau; in fact I think that was downright rude. But I would love to see you try!"_

Sinister is standing over him; pulling the beautiful man's face toward him by the fistful of hair he held. He licks his cheek, tasting his sweat and tears, his very essence.

"_This is a time of celebration; I have the LeBeau I need, now. It seems the modifications I made worked though, there weren't any birth defects, though he was born of a male host. It's just too bad his genes are mixed with that mongrels'. He would have been a perfect specimen; it seems the child is going to be as much a runt as the animal. Yet, I've always wanted someone to follow in my footsteps. You will sire my firstborn, Remy. Why else did you think I allowed you to spawn with that swine, the animal you call your precious Logan?"_

He pulls Remy to the end of the bed, by his ankles. Remy tries to fight back, the words angering him.

"_Mon fil, (My son) is non specimen ov y'rs Essex! 'es mon fil, a chile, non experiment!" _

Sinister begins to pull him closer. Remy has lived through this nightmare hundreds of times during his captivity and relived it nightly in his sleep for years but never with this kind of fear attached.

"_Non! S'il vous plait!(Please!) Non! I won't!__Arrêter!(Stop!) "_

"_I don't remember giving you the choice."_

"_Mon Dieu!" (My God!)_

Remy trembles in fear, knowing consent was never an issue with Mister Sinister, at least not for him.

***

"_Jean, you've found them haven't you? I can feel Remy's presence." _

Jean opens her eyes, lifting Cerebro's helmet off her head, shaking her long red hair out and down her back. She sighs sadly; trying to shake the memory of the situation Remy was in when she saw him with Sinister a few moments ago. Xavier is looking to her, his expression a cross between worry and sadness.

"_Yes Professor, Gambit and Sinister have both just reappeared; they are in the northwest section of woods, near the lake. They're still on the property. Hurry, Remy's not going to last much longer."_

"_Go and assist the team. I'll be in touch."_

She nods, placing the helmet down on the helm. She runs from the chamber as fast as she can, to find Logan and the team. She mentally scans the mansion, and finds their brain signatures in the war room. She seeks out Logan first, knowing he can get to Remy faster than any of them. She knows how much he hates having his mind invaded but it's faster if she contacts him mentally.

_/"Logan, Remy is still on the grounds Northwest woods, near the lake. Hurry, they might not be there long. Hurry! We'll be right behind you."/_

Wolverine looks to the other men in the group he was just talking to, his face covered in surprise one moment, anger the next. Scott grabs his shoulder,

"Logan?"

Logan growls deeply as he shoves Scott aside then shoves aside Beast as he bolts out the door.

_/"Thanks, Red. About what I said earlier-"/_

_/"Logan, don't worry about that, it's fine. Now get going!"/_

_/"Yeah, yeah, if anything happens to me will you watch over Belle?"/_

_/"With my life, Logan."/_

He dashes for the front door, tossing his leather coat aside as he exits. He breaks for the woods faster than he's ever moved in his life.

'_Jus' hold on, Rem. I'm coming!'_

* * *

_Check out the poll on my page, it might be of interest to you!_

_**A note from moi!**_

_Hi everyone!_

_How's life for you guys? Hope all is well for you. Things have been busy here but still have time to work on these stories for you guys. Please take a moment to review this chapter and really let me know how you feel about this story as a whole. I received a very dramatic and discouraging e-mail reply about this story from a reader the other day to which I will reply to them with this:_

_(I heart drama, don't you? Seriously, when you graduate isn't time to get with it, everyone? Merde.)_

_**I appreciate creative input but I will not rewrite entire chapters just because you are angry I am using, who you have deemed as the wrong characters in certain scenes and paired with the wrong people. This is my story and I shall write it however I wish. I am not a professional writer; nor do I claim to be. I am merely a creative soul, who likes using words to describe the character's reactions and the imagery. I only hope you learn one day, that you won't get very far cussing someone out over THEIR choices made instead of using YOUR ideas for the plot, theme and characters for THEIR story. So have a nice day and I hope you become someone awesome when you grow up! I'm still hoping to be an astronaut. –xoxo**_

_To everyone else, I am soooo very sorry for you having to see that response but I had received similar notes last week as well and have been a bit fed up. _

_**Thank you for your time and I really appreciate the reviews and encouraging notes you have sent! I will have another chapter ready soon! **_

_**Love you all, K xoxo**_


	12. Chapter 12: Ultimate Violation

**Shape of My heart**

**By: Kurenai LeStrange**

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/Rape/Comfort

* * *

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

* * *

_***__**This is a graphic chapter! The following chapter contains a 'rape scene'. Though it's not as graphic as many stories are, but my style of writing is a little different the most. Though the scene itself isn't extremely graphic, the emotional content can be disturbing for some. I just wanted to warn you ahead of time. This chapter might not be for everyone and for that I am sorry but it is a part of the storyline. I just thought you should know. –Love, K**__***_

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 12: Ultimate Violation**

_(Statements enclosed in // are statements and conversations made via telekinesis.)_

_***_

_/"Logan, Remy is still on the grounds Northwest woods, near the lake. Hurry, they might not be there long. Hurry! We'll be right behind you."/_

Wolverine looks back to the other men in the group he was talking to only moments before; his face covered in surprise one moment, anger the next. Scott grabs his shoulder,

"_Logan?"_

Logan growls deeply as he shoves Scott aside then pushes past Beast as he bolts out the door.

_/"Thanks, Red. About what I said earlier-"/_

_/"Logan, don't worry about that, it's fine. Now get going!"/_

_/"Yeah, yeah, if anything happens will you watch over Belle?"/_

_/"With my life, Logan."/_

_***_

Logan dashes for the front door; tossing his leather coat aside as he exits, desperation and urgency clenching his heart. He breaks for the woods faster than he's ever moved in his life. He shakes off the helplessness and guilt he has been feeling for last while, replacing it with anger and protectiveness.

'_Jus' hold on, Rem. I'm coming!'_

*******

"_Non, s'il vous plaît, leave Rem be. Qu'ai-je fait pour le mériter? __(What did I do to deserve this?)__"_

Remy whimpers weakly, while Sinister known also to him as Nathaniel Essex, laughs pulling him closer yet. When Remy struggles feebly against him, Sinister throws his arm back slapping him harshly, splattering blood from his broken lips further. As Essex wrenches his legs apart, the mongrel French spewing from Remy's swollen lips is only adding to his sexual appetite. Remy begs and pleads, Essex lapping it up, his cries only feeding the desire. He's forced to reach down shifting his rigid manhood, not wanting to rush a broken, warm body he wishes to savor and ravage, until it is cool.

Remy's fever blazes, Sinister taking another deep, lungful of his spicy aroma. His body made slick from the sweat and the blood, the coppery scent wafting through the air. Sinister rips the sheet from Remy's hands, tossing it away, the hospital gown soon following.

"_Non! No! Arrêter! (Stop!) Tu fils de pute! (You, son-of-a-bitch!)"_

Remy panics as Sinister moves his hands further up his pale lean, thighs. Licking his lips, he looks to the interim feminine opening that has been stitched back up due to the tearing in the partial episiotomy Hank did during James' delivery. Sinister projects his lust, hatred and anger towards Remy nearly overpowering him with the strong feelings alone. Remy whimpers, trying to scramble away from Essex, his stomach turning at the very thought of him touching him.

Sinister smiles down at him, causing Remy's skin to crawl. His fear amounting as he grasps the side of the bed hoping to find the strength to pull himself free from Essex's grasp. Closing his eyes, he concentrates all his strength, trying to find the strength to move, to escape. Suddenly it dawns on him; he is building up kinetic energy into his core. Sinister quickly noticing the pink glow flowing through his palms down the sides of the bed. Reacting quickly he slaps a Genocian restraint collar around his neck while he is distracted. By stopping the flow of energy, Sinister causes Remy to blackout, his body falling limply to the table.

Sinister laughs as he shakes the thin pale man awake, shaking him so hard for a moment he thought he could hear the poor boys' bones rattle. Wearily his demon eyes flicker open, looking up at Sinister defeat engraved in his features. Sinister knew he had won, as he reaches down removing the collar from the injured man.

"_Tsk, tsk, tsk. Looks like that little boy ripped you a new one, too bad. And here I thought I would be the one who left the most damage."_

Tears and fear are pouring from Remy as is his revulsion, guilt and shame, it envelopes Sinister. He laughs gratefully.

"_Thanks for letting me feel your fear again, boy. It's so much nicer when I get to experience what your screams feel like."_

After a few moments Remy's countenance changes and he looks Essex in the eyes with the look of the same defiance, he was famous for,

"Maybe, Rem'll jus' go 'head an' die now. Yeah, dat sound real nice."

He allows his head to drop back to the metal hover bed with a thud, then looks up to the hazy, gray skies, waiting for the storm to break that is on the horizon. Death would arrive soon as well. Sinister barks laughter.

"Sorry LeBeau, I'm not going to let it be that simple."

He jerks Remy's legs open, and then begins tugging on his stitches, one by one. Remy didn't know what hurt more: Sinister ripping his stitches out by hand or knowing the fact he is too weak to keep Sinister from defiling his body. The main fact being that, he will now be looked upon as tainted from now on, by Logan. How could Logan ever look at him the same or love him like he did before. How could Logan? When he finds out, Sinister, like many of the other John's in Remy's past had used him and then tossed him aside and did so without even a punch thrown.

Sinister notices Remy deep in concentration, as if he weren't even there. Sinister sneers as he reaches back, slapping the defeated man again. Remy cries out in shock. He hadn't realized he had completely blocked Essex out for a moment; until he slapped him, his shields were creating a temporary place of serenity for his mind.

Sinister, reaches down pulling two stitches out at the same time and then reaches for the next set pausing for a moment, so that the first pair would take their full effect. The flames of agony flaring up his thighs and wrapping around his spine; it began to hurt so badly, it almost made him sick to his stomach. Essex laughs again, licking his bloodied hand.

"_Gotta make a little room, if you remember I'm a big boy."_

Remy screams hoarsely feeling the darkness washing over him as the torturous pain increases tenfold. Once he thought the pain had reached its apex, he feels him roughly tear the next set out, sending it over the top. Just as he welcomes the void engulfing him, he is shaken harshly again, pulling him from the darkness.

"_Tut, tut, tut mon petit,_ _vous n'en sortez pas que facile. (My small one, you're not getting out of this that easy)."_

Remy nearly vomited hearing his own language being used against him in such a manner. As he tries to recover from the shock of hearing Sinister refer to him as his small one; that thought alone nearly causing his stomach to revolt.

When Remy realizes Sinister is out of stitches to pull he begins to breathe a sigh of relief. Sadly the relief is short-lived. He hears the sound of metal on metal, and then suddenly feels crushing pressure on his ankles. He knew what shackles felt like; this wasn't a first time having to wear them, especially not with Sinister. Essex forces three of his rather large fingers into the tender passage, resulting in another shriek of pain and then a sob.

"_Mon Dieu! (My God!) Why, y' do dis t' Remy?"_

"_Because you're pretty when you cry, LeBeau."_

Sinister begins scissoring his fingers opening him up, pulling and tearing at the tender flesh, each time drawing another long, hoarse cry from the damaged man. The blood began flowing from Remy's body; Sinister could feel the portions of womb that had been scored by Beast's claws. He raked at them, with his gloved fingers.

Remy screams again, his body trembling uncontrollably. This time he is unable to keep his nausea at bay. Having little strength left, he is barely able to roll his head to the side in time to heave, the contents of his stomach evacuating quickly from the combination of excruciating pain and disgust.

Sinister withdraws his hand harshly, tasting the rich, spicy blood again from his index finger. He wipes the leftover onto Remy's thigh, the crimson contrasting with his milky white skin. Sinister can see the terror and disgust in Remy's eyes, he breathes in deeply, dropping his shields to take in Remy's emotions. He absorbs as much of Remy's panic, fear and guilt as he can, laughing, as thunder rolls in the distance. Grabbing a handful of the Cajun's hair, he violates Remy's mouth with his tongue. Remy he could taste his own blood on Sinister's lips.

Feeling ashamed, disgusted and horrified at what is being done to him, Remy knows has to fight Sinister. He has to keep the vile man away from himself or there would be no way Logan could possibly love him after this, if he doesn't even try to put up a fight.

"_Non, Stop! I won't!"_

He tries to weakly shove Sinister off him; Sinister retaliates with another violation of Remy's mouth, and then ends the kiss with him biting Remy's lower lip tearing it open with his razor sharp teeth. Remy hisses in pain, the blood flowing down his chin, as Sinister pulls out the stitch he saved for last. Winking at Remy, he smiles eagerly.

"_There we go, I think you're loose enough now, swamp rat. As I said before, I'm not giving you the choice."_

* * *

**A Small Novel from the Author:**

**Hi guys! Whew! So much to say!**

**This scene will be concluded in the next chapter, so it will be a graphic as well. Just a warning so you guys know ahead of time, after that we return to the angst! Yay! But don't worry guys; the sweet stuff is coming up soon. So have no fear! I is here. Lol.**

**(Sorry it's 4 a.m. and I have to be on set at 5… so much for sleep tonight!)**

**I hope those of you who were able to read this chapter, review it to let me know how I fared. I tried to keep it as non-descript as possible. I wanted it to be centered more on the emotions than the actual actions of the rape. It has taken many re-writes to get this chapter where I felt it needed to be. The next chapter has been the same way and isn't quite done yet. It is taking extra time to really get in depth to the emotional surroundings Remy is living in. **

**I'm desperate for feedback on this chapter due largely in fact that this is a first for me, having never had to write a severely graphic and violent scene like this before. So please review and tell me what you felt as you read this. **

**Also, I have just opened a deviantART account so I can see all the other talents my readers have as well and what a better way to do so! The page is under construction but it should be up and running soon. Contemplating, putting a preview to a new Logan/Remy story up on it when I get my main three fics up to date on it. I'll probably do that a week before I put it up here on Fanfiction, as a treat to those of you on DA. So if you have a deviantART account find, message and friend me:**

Kurenai-Lestrange

**Anywho, just wanted to say thanks to everyone for your encouraging words from last chapter, this is the first time in I don't know how many chapters I didn't have ANY flamer messages in my message box! Wow! I never thought anyone would actually read my notes at the end of the chapters. (Well maybe not anymore after this novel. LOL.) I was pleasantly surprised! Oh yeah! Check out the poll I've put up on my author page. It will be of some interest to you guys! Promise!**

**I've had so much going on in my life between work and home I've been crazy. We had a cancer scare with my Mum recently, and a when the tests came back negative I couldn't have been more relieved. After losing oldest brother (age 29) in November, I was terrified of losing her. Being back in Canada for a few days was great, but now I'm back in LA for work. Yay! **

**I wanted to thank Kawaii Yuki-chan for being my inspiration and backbone during this crazy time! Thank you for thoughtful messages and inspiring words! I would have probably fallen apart and gotten nowhere without you! Thanks girl! Also, she let me preview a picture she did of the twins for me. Five words:**

**OMG! So cute!**

**Hope all is well in your worlds! **

**Love always, K **


	13. Chapter 13:Broken Memories

**Shape of my heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/Rape/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

* * *

_***__**The beginning of this chapter is slightly graphic. I am pushing the graphic portion of the Remy/Sinister section to the next chapter. This is going to be fluff. Just wanted to give everyone a break from the edge of your seat stuff for a moment. –Love, K**__***_

* * *

**Chapter 13: Broken Memories**

Feeling ashamed, disgusted and horrified at what is being done to him; Remy knows he has to fight Sinister. He has to keep the vile beast away from himself or there would be no way Logan could possibly love him after this. Especially, if he doesn't even try to put up a fight.

"_Non, Stop! I won't!"_

He tries to weakly shove Sinister off him; Sinister retaliates with another violation of his mouth, and then ends the kiss by biting Remy's lower lip tearing tender flesh open with his razor sharp teeth. Remy hisses in pain, the blood flowing down his chin, he is breathless from the pain sensory overload. Winking at Remy, he smiles eagerly, pulling out the single stitch he saved for last.

"_There we go, I think you're loose enough now, swamp rat. As I said before, I'm not giving you the choice."_

Logan has been running for what feels like an eternity and yet when he looks behind him he can still see the mansion. Why hasn't he gotten farther than this? He looks to the mansion again, growling intensely. The mansion he and Remy share a room in. After today would they still share their lives together or would everything end with Remy?

Remy.

He has never been so focused on any one thing; as far back as he can remember in his life. Pushing himself harder, his only focus is rescuing Remy: his friend, his teammate, his mate, the life giver to his children.

Belle and James.

Logan's heart begins to mourn further for his son's disappearance. Surely he has to be wherever Sinister is keeping Remy?! Remy! Logan felt the rage boiling within; he is fighting the Wolverine at all costs. It is a losing battle. He knows as well as anyone, if he releases the beast from within too soon, Remy will never be found and the path of destruction and death left in his wake could be momentous! He has to think calming thoughts; he has to calm the beast within.

His mind races over the day's events,

_He remembers the feeling of pure joy and adoration for the tiny bundle in his arms, and yet he felt the icy chill of fear pierce his heart when he met his daughter for the first time on the Blackbird._

'_What if she didn't like him? What if she sees the monster within? Could he keep her safe? Would she love him?' _

_As if she could sense his doubt she answers him with a brilliant toothless grin as she kicks her feet. His heart melting again. She is perfect. Beauty and attitude in one very small package. He thinks holding that precious gift, looking up to the man that gave it to him._

_Remy had been watching them closely. Though pain and exhaustion riddled his appearance, love and excitement flowed through his connection to his family. The same in the few moments they shared with their son, as Remy cradled their tiny boy close, the emotional overload from nearly losing both of them was almost too much. He had cried like a baby when James opened those beautiful black on red eyes. Remy was so weak from the delivery. Remy!_

"_Remy I'm coming please hang on!" _

As he runs he can hear Remy's faint pleas and cries carried on the wind. Logan's heart quickening, the thought of what could be happening to him to cause such mournful sobs, thought they were faint, Logan could still hear them drenched in emotion. The wind whips past again, carrying with it a new set of wails. Logan stomach lurched, this time he heard pain instead of fear. Logan chokes back the bile the racing thoughts had caused; he frantically tries to search for a sound origin.

A small flash of lightning to the left of him broke his mental panic. There is a storm moving in and is making it most difficult to pinpoint exactly where the sounds are traveling from due to the light clamor of thunder in the distance. He stops suddenly, tears falling down his cheeks as he tries to listen more closely, struggling to force aside the memories the rumbling thunder brought up. Yet the memory prevails.

_**He and Remy lay in bed, breathless, after one of the most passionate and soul-binding sexual experiences they had shared together. It was the night of their engagement, the night Remy unknowingly conceived. He remembers the shiver of fear that passed through Remy's body, as the lightning flashed and the thunder rolled in the distance. **_

_**Remy cuddled closer to Logan, his body trembling slightly as it had countless storms before. His long, lean legs intertwined with Logan's' stout ones. Remy's cheek was resting on his broad, brawny chest, the long silky strands of his hair falling into his face hiding the perfect bone structure from the lightning as Logan strokes his cheek. **_

_**As they both seemed to catch their breath and as the afterglow of their passion had finally dissipated, they are both caught off guard by Logan's question as it fell from his lips. **_

"_Rem, why is it storms bother ya so much? I mean, ya know yer safe, right?" _

_**Logan could feel his body go rigid for a moment and he could almost swear he saw the color drain from his love's face. Logan never realized this was a can of worms he almost couldn't handle. Remy sat up quickly, kicking his feet over the side of the bed and begins blindly searching the floor for his silk pajama bottoms he had carelessly discarded earlier. **_

_**Logan was confused watching his love, pat the floor in the darkness until he finally found what he was looking for, he slid on his bottoms quickly, yelping like a scared dog when Logan flicked on the lamp as another flash of lightning burst across the sky. Logan could feel the panic in their connection, Remy moving quickly to the couch in front of the fireplace, drawing his legs up to his chest burying his face in his knees.**_

_**Logan quickly, grabbed his boxers from the bedpost throwing them on, and rushes to his side. **_

"_Remy?"_

_**He reaches out to touch his shoulder, feeling him quake in fear. He quickly draws back his hand, biting his thumb for a moment trying to decide on his next move. After he a few moments he reached out, pulling the trembling man into his arms, holding him close to his heart. He brushes a few kisses across the top of his head as he held him close.**_

"_You can tell me anything Rem."_

"_Non, Logan. Y' won' wan' Rem no mo."_

"_Try me Cajun. We're still getting' hitched next month, nothing ya say will change that." _

_**After a few moments, Remy looked him in the eyes, silent tears fell down flushed cheeks as he told him of the countless horrors he lived spending his nights on the streets of New Orleans as a child. His story started with his first trauma at the tender age of seven, all the way to the last.**_

_**Their gang leader and often Remy's pimp, Fagan, had a belief was that Remy was a 'natural', sexual nature came almost as freely as his natural ability to pickpockets. He had the face of an angel with the eyes of the devil himself, and his charm to boot, even as a child. At least picking pockets was more of a self-respecting profession then being a whore for hire. He was one of the best at what he did and being only ten years old with the living and sexual experience of a thirty year old made him that much more of an asset. He was passed around daily to touched, used or taken however seen fit, with the desire to fight back but the lack of strength to do so.**_

_**During a particularly bad bout of storms a John had come to call without the knowledge of Fagan and the horrors Remy lived through on that night particularly, were unspeakable. He barely made it away with his life. As he ran through the storm, he crashed into the side of a man walking up Magazine Street. Remy tried to pick his pocket as he ran but was caught.**_

_**The man picked him up by his shoulders and held him out to view in the streetlight, seeing the gashes and bruises littered across his body, and the blood that poured down his chest and legs. He smiled at the broken boy in his hands and told him, **_

" Assez de la vie de la rue pour vous, petit._(Enough__ of the street life for you, little one.)"_

_**That man was Jean-Luc LeBeau, the man who took him in and raised Remy as his son. His life was saved during a storm, but first it was almost taken. When he was fifteen and the **__**'tithing' went awry, he and his cousin Etienne were captured by Candra and sold to Pig, a well known child slave trader. His luck didn't get much better, though he survive the torture and the many horrors, his cousin ended up drowning in their escape. **_

_**Then Essex came along, wishing to 'employ' his services and have his steal back his diaries from Weapon X. When he went to the lab and witnessed Wolverines' escape and stole the diaries, he burned them quickly. He had read a few entries, deciding they were too dangerous to keep around for another psycho to find, especially Essex. When he got back he was punished by the guild, but nowhere near as severely or in as many torturous ways for multiple days for his failure, by Essex who turned out to be Mister Sinister. As Remy fought the sob clawing up his throat, he explained it always took so much pain and suffering to get back to what good life actually had to offer. **_

'_At least that was always the way for poor Remy.'_

_**Logan held him, gently stroking his hair when Remy began to shudder with tears and the rain began to pour outside. He held him for hours, as Remy's body quaked from emotion and he would continue to, for as long as it took for Remy to know he was safe and that he was loved.**_

_**Remy told him everything, putting his heart on the line knowing Logan could have turned him away for his past-life. He had even mentioned later that morning, while he looked over the breakfast in bed Logan had made him in amazement. He didn't understand why Logan was staying with him, especially after learning the truth about his past. Logan kissed his forehead then looks him in the eyes.**_

"_Rem, I love ya, thru and thru. An' if I could remember my past I'm sure as hell certain, ya wouldn't want ta be with an old goat like me, in fact I still don't know why ya'd settle down with me when ya could have anyone ya want. But I love ya for yer past, yer present, an' our future. I will never stop lovin' ya, nothing will change that. I'll protect ya with all I got, cause living in a world without ya, that would be the death of me." _

_**Remy knew it was the truth and he wept for joy as Logan held him close, breathing in his scent, stroking his hair in comfort.**_

Lightning flashes, and thunder rolls bringing Logan out of his daze. How much time had he lost? He frantically looks around the clearing, then stops to meditate for a moment. He has to clear his head or he'll never find him. He can feel the Beast howling from within, he is beginning to feel a sense of urgency. As the wind shifts directions, he picks up a scent and a howl of pain. Wolverine snarls within the rage simmering as Logan makes a break for the eastern tree line.

'_Just hang on Rem… I'm coming!'_

* * *

Note from the Author:

Hi Everyone,

Wow! I hope everyone enjoyed that small piece of fluff/history. I try to keep my stories as factual as possible in the AU department. I do not use the cartoons or the movies as a reference. I have collected/read the comics most my life and use online resources to fill in any details I need.

It was my prerogative to push the next "Graphic" chapter back one more to get a little more storyline involved. Yes, the next chapter will be the: (Cue dramatic music, Dun, dun, daaaaaa) the robbing of innocence scene. Ye be warned!

Plus, I really wanted to get Logan's thoughts and emotions on the whole situation out in the open. I also made his memories the leading portion of the chapter because he has so few important memories left; all the new ones are precious to him.

I have posted a poll on my author page I would love for you to vote on. It's to decide whether or not I should add another Logan/Remy fic my collection.

(It will be entirely different from this one. Promise!)

Anywho, remember the magic word: Review, review, review!

I love your feedback, it makes my day!

Hope you are all doing well!

Love, K xoxo


	14. Chapter 14: Parting Gift

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

* * *

_***__**This is a graphic chapter! The following chapter contains a 'Non-consensual scene'. Though it's not as graphic as many stories are, but my style of writing is a little different the most. Though the scene itself isn't extremely graphic, the emotional content can be disturbing for some. I just wanted to warn you ahead of time. This chapter might not be for everyone and for that I am sorry but it is a part of the storyline. I just thought you should know. –Love, K**__***_

* * *

_CHAPTER 14: PARTING GIFT_

Lightning flashes, and thunder rolls bringing Logan out of his daze. How much time had he lost? He frantically looks around the clearing, then stops to meditate for a moment. He has to clear his head or he'll never find him. He can feel the Beast howling from within, he is beginning to feel a sense of urgency. As the wind shifts directions, he picks up a scent and a howl of pain. Wolverine snarls within, the rage simmering as Logan makes a break for the eastern tree line.

'_Just hang on Rem… I'm coming!'_

(Meanwhile)

As Sinister reaches for the ultimate violation, withdrawing his rigid shaft from its sheath, Remy weakly tries to retreat the chains preventing his escape. He grabs Remy's leg throwing it over his shoulder, there wasn't a whole a lot of fight left in him, after everything he had been through.

Sinister centers himself at the damaged entrance, and then forces his hips forward with one savage stroke, that opened the broken man entirely. A shriek of agony, is torn from his throat, Remy feeling what little blood he has left slicking the battered passage as Sinister forces himself into him again and again and again. The flaming heat from his fever burns higher, keeping the passage warm and inviting, his scent emanating, exciting Essex further.

Remy's screams echo though the woods. Sinister laughs enjoying the feel of Remy's swollen muscles, squeezing him so tightly. Remy tries to center himself, tries to find away to lock himself out of reality for a while. He can't live through this again. Sinister grabs his chin forcing him to look at him, as he pounds away. In horror, he watches as Sinister morph into Logan,

"Yer weak, LeBeau. Yer pathetic; yer almost not worth the fuck."

"Non, Non! Mon Dieu! Y'r not Logan, Non. Vous n'êtes pas lui!(You're not him!)"

Logan smiles down on him ferally.

"How do ya know he hasn't been me, or I haven't been him, all along? The X-men aren't hard to infiltrate, ya know this from experience. Ya have ta know in your heart, I'd never actually love ya."

"Non! NOOONNN! S'not true! Il m'aime.(He loves me.)"

The non-Logan licks the side of his face; the salt from his tears mixed with his despair was one of the most delicious things he has ever tasted. He needed more. Wearing Logan's face Sinister presses his forehead against Remy's forcing him to see his face.

"Peut-être je vous ai menés en bateau, ce tout le temps. (Perhaps I have been stringing you along, this whole time.)"

"Vous n'êtes pas lui… i-il m'aime. Vous- vous êtes un monstre!(You're not him… h-he loves me. You-you're a monster!)"

Remy whimpers, slurring slightly trying his best to finally blackout. Sinister shakes him awake again. Remy begins to sob. His mental barriers completely broken, he's lost total control over his emotions. Sinister continues the mental and emotional abuse, savoring each wave of pain, fear, anguish and sadness.

"Il m'aime.(He loves me.)" he whispers,

"Do I?"

"Monstre! (Monster!)"

"Am I-"

The false Logan asks, as Remy tries to avert his eyes.

"If I love ya so much then where am I? Why haven' I rescued ya?"

"Non, Arrêter! Tu fils de pute! (Stop! You son-of-a-bitch!) Y'r a liar, s'not true!"

Sinister laughs loudly, in Logan's gruff whisky on honey tone. Remy begins to cry even louder when he catches a whiff of Logan's aftershave, the realization hitting him. He has been tricked, it must be true, maybe that never was Logan, and maybe 'his' Logan really is dead. He has lost it all. Surely by now Sinister has sent one of his henchmen to take his daughter, he already has his son and now it is certain his love is gone forever. His reason for living is gone, the fight is over.

The non-Logan is still working him over as he grabs a fistful of Remy's hair, pulling him up toward his face.

"I think I'm right. I don't love ya, never have. Never will. Yer jus a hole ta stick it in, ya always have been. Yer nothing more than that, ta me, or ta anyone else. Yer just a whore, Remy. A slut with a pretty face and a talented tongue, who lies on his back, spreading his legs for anyone."

Sinister knows he's fighting dirty now, wearing a broad grin he continues his work defiling Remy's body and breaking down his mind.

"Non, je vous aime.(I love you.)" He whispers.

"Regardless of what happened between us, I won't love ya or that gut pest ya carried, ever. No one could ever love trash like ya."

Remy closes his eyes, covering his face with his hands, he couldn't bear seeing Sinister wearing Logan's face any longer. He couldn't bear to see the truth coming from his lips, masked in Logans husky tone, any longer. He could hear the *Schikt of Logan's claws on one of his hand's but he barely cries out when he feels the cold blades, being driven vertically into Remy's side. Nothing could hurt him now more the pain he felt in his broken heart.

"Ya were never loved! Ya deserve whatcha get."

The barage continued, Remy couldn't take anymore, something broke inside him. He shrieked hoarsely feeling the blades pulled harshly from his side. Betrayed by his love and his emotions, how could he have been such a fool? To think someone had finally loved him. What a pathetic wretch he was to believe the lies. Remy's thoughts race in circles, berating himself for finally believing he was worth something more than a cheap fuck.

Sinister can feel the heartbreak and emotional pain Remy is feeling. It is exuberating. He laps it up, knowing after all these years he has finally broken the Cajun. He slows down his strokes wanting this experience to last as long as it can; he wasn't ready to end things just yet.

After a few moments, Remy is too weak to respond, forced to just lie there and take it, while the tears crash down his cheeks. The guilt, shame and heart-ache emanating while the darkness splashes across his vision as Sinister's strokes begin to quicken again.

Sinister laughs loudly as he continues to assault Remy's insides further. He feels himself drawing closer to climax and begins to drive himself deeper into Remy wanting to plant his seed as deep as possible when the time comes. He is so consumed by the emotional agony Remy is in, he lost himself momentarily, not noticing his approaching enemy.

Logan stops suddenly seeing a perfect copy of himself defiling Remy's body in manners which were unspeakable. His legs quit working the moment the information from his eyes reached his brain, suddenly his stomach lurched, when he hears Remy cry "No!" out in a tortured whimper.

As soon as the cry is uttered, Logan lost the battle with the Wolverine; darkness consumed him and the beast within reined. Had Essex not been so wrapped up in his current violation, he would have felt the blackest of all hatreds making its way toward him and it is coming at him fast.

As the adamantium claws rip into his back and Sinister is forced onto the ground. Logan screams, as the scent of Remy's blood waifs through the crisp, early morning air, burning his nostrils and turning his stomach, he screams jamming his claws into Sinisters' back again. He is thrown against the trunk of a tree as Beast and Jean run up through the clearing.

"Logan!"

Jean runs toward him, he looks up, stopping her in her tracks when she notices there are two Logan's and they are identical. She readies a psionic attack, hoping one would quickly reveal himself to be true. Ask and ye shall receive, the real Logan breaks through the Wolverine for a moment. The pain in his eyes belonging only to that of her Logan, heart-broken and enraged at the same time, as he points to his left,

"No! Don't worry about me, protect Remy!"

She nods quickly rushing to Remy's side, Beast staying behind to back-up Logan if needed. And from the looks of it, he won't need it.

Sinister who is still in Logan's form opposite of him, closes up shop quickly then forces himself upright, pulling a blaster out of his boot, pointing it at Logan. Logan smirked wildly as the wolverine takes over again and then motions for him to bring it on with his hands. Sinister fires off three quick blasts, one hit him square in the chest, flesh burning and blood pouring, the next in his right shoulder, the third just barely grazed his left cheek. He screams in rage, racking his claws on the left across the larger mans chest, then impaling his thigh with the claws on the right. Sinister swings at him, Wolverine retracting his claws, bounces back, landing in front of Jean and Remy. Sinister sneers, brushing the blood from his face that had splashed up from his chest. Releasing his blades again, he can barely formulate words, the rage far beyond controllable boundaries.

"Aw… that's too bad; now tell me where ma' son is, before I gut ya!"

A piercing ache begins in Logan's chest, as he lunges for Sinister who morphs back to his normal form. He is stopped by the blinding light of the tessaract that formed suddenly behind the tall, dark man. Hitting his knee, he looks up watching as Sinister lifts his blaster to shoot again, pointing it at Remy. Logan throws himself between the two men, his vision blurring slightly, he shakes his head trying to clear it, his right arm feeling like dead weight, dangling at his side. Bearing his teeth he growls deeply at the man threatening his mate.

Sinister knows that Remy is still alive due to the fact he can still use his empathetic charge, Sinister opens himself up to the mixed emotions of the group. Remy is filled with pain and shame, Beast radiating anger and disgust, Jean fear and guilt. But only feels one thing from Logan. Blind rage. Sinister smirks, enjoying himself thoroughly, he loves angering 'the runt' as Victor always called him.

"Just a little parting gift, Logan. Other than that dead sweet fuck, of yours. Of course if he actually lives, I'll be back to finish what I started. But with this blaster I've been able to stave off your mutant powers temporarily, so I don't think you'll be healing anytime soon. These last two Carbodium based shots should do the trick if those others haven't started working already."

He laughs wickedly as he steps into the temporal wormhole, firing off two more rounds. Logan reacts with blinding speed cutting the shackles off Remy's legs and covering his shivering, naked frame with his own. Jean throws up her hands trying to place a protective barrier around her, Logan and Remy in time. She watches in what felt like slow motion as the two bolts make their way toward them. Her last thoughts before they hit,

"No!"

* * *

_Notes from the Author: _

_Hey Peeps!_

_Wow, after a chapter of fluff, I am glad to finally have this chapter behind me. Writing such private and terrible things and trying to keep them as um… non-graphic as you can, really takes it outta a girl! I hope this chapter didn't warp any fragile minds out there like it did mine but that was my first attempt at a full scale "taking of innocence" type situation._

_I hope to have the next chapter up soon, please review this if you read it, I'm thinking of taking the story in a new direction so your feedback will really help know which direction to choose. _

_Keyword: Review , s'il vous plait!_

_(Also every decent author likes to have their ego stroked, Lol. Getting reviews and notes from you guys really makes my day! –xoxo)_

_Hope all of you are doing well! _

_Love, K _


	15. Chapter 15: Please Don't Leave

Shape of My Heart

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

* * *

CHAPTER 15: Please Don't Leave

"_Just a little parting gift, Logan. Other than that dead sweet fuck, of yours. Of course if he actually lives, I'll be back to finish what I started. But with this blaster I've been able to stave off your mutant powers temporarily, so I don't think you'll be healing anytime soon. These last two Carbodium based shots should do the trick if those others haven't started working already."_

He laughs wickedly as he steps into the temporal wormhole, firing off two more rounds. Logan reacts with blinding speed cutting the shackles off Remy's legs and covering his shivering, naked frame with his own. Jean throws up her hands trying to place a protective barrier around her, Logan and Remy in time. She watches in what felt like slow motion as the two bolts make their way toward them. Her last thoughts before they hit,

"_No!"_

She knows she only has time to deflect one; she makes her decision, deflecting the first shot that is headed on a course straight for Remy and actually able to reflect it back at Sinister. It struck him in the left shoulder, he grunts loudly as he steps into the wormhole. The tessaract closing around him as the second shot strikes Jean in the upper thigh of her right leg. As Beast rushes to her side catching her as she stumbles,

"_Thanks Hank."_

"_Anytime, my dear. Now, let's quickly stop the bleeding shall we?"_

"_Please, but it must be quickly, we must tend to Remy!"_

"_Yes, indeed."_

There is a clap of lightning and a roll of thunder, though the silence is deafening except for the pattering of the rain as it begins to fall. After a few moment's Logan's sudden howl causes Jean and Hank to both jump. They turn to see Logan holding Remy's limp body close as he sobs into the man's long auburn hair. Beast quickly, shouts to Logan tossing him the sheet he had on before the pursuit.

Logan carefully drapes it over Remy's naked broken form, wrapping the damp covering around his body for coverage. Jean steps towards them, the hiss of air crackling and the sound of wind could be heard above them, they look up to see the Blackbird as it lands and the hatch opens for them to quickly load. Hank rushes up to the couple, he notices the way Remy's head hangs so limply, reaching out he knew in a few moments, when he touched the young man's flesh it would be cold. With tears in his eyes, he checks Remy's pulse, then shrieks in excitement,

"_Logan! Quickly get him on the Blackbird, the pulse is faint but I can feel it!"_

Logan looks up from the precious creature he holds in his arms, disbelief written across his face.

"_What?"_

Beast nods at him,

_"Hurry."_

As Logan gathers him in his arms, blood pouring from between his legs, Logan gags as he visualizes what he had gone through in the short time he was in Sinister's care. He chokes back a loud cry, Jean looking over to him as Scott helps her back to the jet. Logan holds him as close as he can, the body lifeless and heavier than usual. He lumbers quickly onto the jet, rushing to the medical area in the back, Beast reattaches the saline solution to the IV in his forearm, and he places an oxygen mask on his face to assist with the breathing.

Beast maintains a check on his pulse, and they land in the docking bay at the house, Hank lays the saline bag on Remy's stomach nodding at Logan. He took his cue, grabbing Remy then running for med-bay.

Beast follows closely, as Logan gently lays Remy on the examination table, Hank heads to the back to retrieve more blood and a few warmer blankets.

Logan's mind is racing nonstop, his body felt heavy and he couldn't help but think of their last words.

_Logan saw Jean deflect the first shot and he prepared to take the second one. Closing his eyes, he covers as much of Remy as he could with his own body, cursing himself for not being taller._

_As he hears the second shot detonate he sees Jean fall, Hank rushing to her aid. Looking down to check on his mate, he sees the flutter of his bruised lids, the slowly the lids come to life revealing dulled orbs of fire. _

"_Rem?"_

_The memories from the last few hours come rushing over him in a flash, tries to throw himself upright when he sees Logan's face._

"_Nooon!"  
He says, the fear and panic flowing from him, as Logan scoops him up in his arms kissing his bruised face, stroking his hair like he used to._

"_Rem, it's okay. He's gone. He's gone."_

_Logan could see the confusion clouding Remy's vision; feel the terror through the link they shared. He floods their empathetic link with as much love and comfort as he can as he holds the tense man close, finally feeling Remy's body relax, his vision clearing._

"_Mon cœur?"_

_He whispers hoarsely,_

"_Yes Rem, I'm here."_

_Remy looks at him, reaching out to touch the gruff cheek next to him, trying to absorb all the warmth and affection he can, trying to drive the heart-break and the cold away that had now penetrated his very bones, sending a shiver through him._

"_e's got 'im, dat bastard got's our son."_

"_Not fer long. It's gonna be okay."_

_Logan looks down to the fallen angel in his arms, the silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He tries to regain control of his composure; Remy doesn't need to know how bad it really is in this state. He runs his thumb across Remy's bruised cheek, trying to wipe his tears away. The devils eyes burning into his, he leans down kissing his forehead. Remy loses what emotional control he had regained, he sobs aloud._

"_Lo, I'm scared."_

"_I love ya, Rem. I'm not leavin' yer side, it's going ta be okay. I'm with ya."_

"_Merci, mon cher! Take care o' our enfants."_

_Remy takes a ragged breath, gasping faintly his breathing becoming labored._

"_Rem, don't go leavin' me alone. Please. I can't live without cha!"_

_Remy smiled up to him, holding a shaky palm against his gruff cheek._

"_J' t'aime, Logan."_

_Remy whispered as his body went limp in Logan's arms, a primal howl of despair claws its way up Logan's throat as he mentally blacks out for a few moments. His thoughts fading to the present._

Upon his return, Hank notices Logan leaning against the wall, staring at Remy. He looks like he is about to jump out of his skin.

_"Logan."_

"_Yeah, Blue?"_

He says without looking up.

"_I'm going to do everything I can for him."_

"_I know."_

He says again without taking his eyes off Remy. He's acting like if he looks away, Remy will disappear. As blood is being forced back into his veins, Remy's entire body shakes with seizures. The fever is getting the better of him.

Logan grabs a chair and sits next to him looking on helplessly, his wounds still seeping blood, his skin ashen.

"Logan, are feeling well my friend? You're getting awfully pale over there."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I rubbed some dirt on 'em, these'll dry up pretty quick."

Hank shakes his head, not sure how to take Logan's statement at the moment but moves on to the end of Remy's bed. He knows he has to repair the damage inflicted by Sinister, or he can't get Remy into a tub of ice to combat the fever. For some reason, he feels as though he can't bear to look, for a few moments. Logan picks up on Hank's stalling,

"_What is it Hank?"_

"_Oh nothing Logan, just getting ready."_

Hank takes a deep breath trying to steady his nerves, Logan sits upright in concern. Hank clears his throat as he lifts the blankets at the end of the bed, the gently lifts Remy's legs into the stirrups that he extended out from underneath the exam table. Just as Logan had relaxed he sat up quickly,

"_What are you doin', Blue?"_

"_I have to repair the damage."_

"_Oh yeah. How bad is it?"_

Beast sat on the stool at the end of the bed directing the light into the battered passageway. He takes a deep breath when he sees the severity of the violation.

"_What is it, Hank…"_

* * *

**A Note from the Author:**

Hi everyone,

Well it looks like we're not out of the woods yet, but we're closer to happiness! At least Remy is in a safe place receiving proper treatment! Whew!

So let's get down to business. And here's a segment I'd like to call:

**Hiding out!**

This is a moment where I answer questions or statements, (whichever way I was supposed to take them) by flamers or anonymous readers in review or personal message form.

(After the crazy responses I received from last chapter I couldn't resist.)

So onto this chapter's Q&A!

So I realize this won't get posted, but I'm honestly not writing to bash you...I'm just curious why mpreg? This story would have worked with them simply being in love. You update regularly so I gave it a try even though I try to stay away from all mpreg stories since they just seem wrong to me. This one seems EXTRA wrong though because you haven't just had Sinister implant Remy with a child, you've actually made him a girl? Oh what has my dear sweet Remy done to you that makes you turn him into a girl? And how would Logan not notice this when they 'conceived'?

The writing itself is alright, but I wish you'd consider your next Remy/Logan fic to be something other then MPreg. The emotional trauma that Remy is suffering is interesting; I do think you've written the rape scene fairly well. Good luck to you. -a

Thanks for the good luck wishes, a! I prefer Mpreg for many reasons:

1.I like the challenge. Out of all the types of fan fiction, I think it's one of the hardest to write (Not many people can tame the Wolverine or give Gambit family oriented desire? Not many, more or less do it well. )

can't find many Mpregs, especially with this pairing. I wanted to read Remy/Logan Mpreg, ergo I make some. Yay!

is easy when you're a mutant!

is not a female he is still very much so a male, if you read x-men comics you will know Gambit is one of the few mutants with evolving powers. Sinister merely implanted the womblike interfacing and added a few extra hormones, two experiments later; his body took care of the rest. Wolverine would not notice conception because you will read in future chapters about the kidnapping that you read the results from in the first chapter. Remy was in the care of Sinister for most of his pregnancy, so that was why Logan was taken completely off guard in CHAPTER 3. He also is clearly hurt he didn't get to be there for him. I can't say too much without giving away too many details about future chapters. So there ya go.

's not often men get the chance to experience awe-inspiring, sweet bonding moments between a 'mother' and child. Seeing a softer side of gruff, rough and tumble men leaves a tender spot in my heart, icy cold little heart.

Thanks for giving my mpreg a try! Hope this might clear a few things up.

To everyone else, thanks for reading and please review! New chapter coming soon!

Love, K xoxo


	16. Chapter 16: Repairing the Damage

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

–_Management. LOL._

* * *

CHAPTER 16: Repairing the Damage

Hank takes a deep breath trying to steady his nerves, Logan sits upright in concern. Hank clears his throat as he lifts the blankets at the end of the bed, the gently lifts Remy's legs into the stirrups that he extended out from underneath the exam table. Just as Logan had relaxed he sat up quickly,

"_What're ya doin', Blue?"_

"_I have to repair the damage."_

"_Oh yeah. How bad is it?"_

Beast sat on the stool at the end of the bed directing the light into the battered passageway. He takes a deep breath when he sees the severity of the violation.

"_What is it Hank?"_

_"Oh, nothing Logan,"_

The tears welling up for his friend and all the pain and suffering he must have gone though at the hands of that madman. Beast had to bite his lip, swallowing hard, to fight the boulder fighting its way up his throat.

"_I'm not an idiot Blue. How bad is it?"_

_"It's bad Logan. Very Bad."_

Logan's eyes fill with tears knowing he shouldn't watch Hank as he makes the repairs needed. He stands suddenly, taking Remy's hand in his, holding his head against his. Logan holds him close as Beast works; the heart monitor and the oxygen tank the only things making just enough noise to cover Logan's weeping. Thirty minutes later, Beast stands clearing his throat.

_"Logan."_

He stands never letting go of Remy's cool, clammy hand.

_"How is he?"_

"_Logan, he's still losing too much blood. The internal damage is too severe."_

Logan's lip trembled, the silent tears pour down his face, as he clears his throat again.

_"What? What do ya mean?" _

He questions hoarsely, the look on his face breaking McCoy's heart all over again.

_"I don't think he's going to make it, he's not healing fast enough."_

Logan's expression turns from fear to rage, he gently place Remy's hand back on the table then rushes past Beast out into the hall near the elevator. He hears a scream of rage, a loud crash, followed by glass breaking. Hank sighs aloud as he thinks to himself,

_'My antique vanity and mirror just delivered today, hasn't even made it to my room yet…'_

He can hear Logan storming back toward the examination room, he braces him self for the blow. Instead all he got were words,

"_No, Blue. We're not leaving it to chance. I'm not losing him after so much! No!"_

He growls, he features suddenly softening,

_"I'm sorry about-"_

_"It's fine old friend. You are facing an understandable dilemma."_

Logan looks at the floor, then with a look of determination he kisses Remy's hand gently setting it back on his sheet covered chest, reaching out, stroking his grayish cheek. He walks up to Beast, rolling up the sleeve on his right arm.

_"Take it, Hank. Take my blood!"_

* * *

Notes from Moi!

Hi Guys,

Sorry this chappie is sooo short but I'm packing to go home for a few days before our next big project here in Nola! Airplanes and airport security here I come! Yay! Traveling this time of year is always fun! Not! So I wanted to leave you with some goodness in case I run out of time at home in the 'Great White North.'

I am also proud to announce I will have illustrations for each chapter coming soon by the fabulous and lovely Kawaii Yuki-chan. She has become a good friend and has offered her wonderful services to bring my story to life! I'm so excited, and will be posting links to each chapter's illustration soon! Yay!

Please don't forget to review! Also, just so everyone knows you are always welcome to personal message me if you have questions about the story, or if you just want to share your thoughts on whatever! :D

I hope all of you my lovely readers are doing well!

Love, K xoxo


	17. Chapter 17: Failure

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

_-Management hehe!_

* * *

_**Chapter 17: Failure**_

Logan looks at the floor, then with a look of determination he kisses Remy's hand gently setting it back on his sheet covered chest, reaching out, stroking his grayish cheek. He walks up to Beast, rolling up the sleeve on his right arm.

"_Take it, Hank. Take my blood!"_

"_I'm afraid that isn't going to be possible, my friend."_

"_What? Why the hell not?"_

"_There are too many risks, Logan. Too many to count for, too many unaccounted for. It just isn't safe."_

"_Blue, if we don't try, I'll lose him. For good this time…"_

His voice trails off at the end; there is silence, Beast not daring to make a statement when Logan is in this state. Logan falls into the chair next to Remy's bed; the only sounds were the oxygen and heart rate monitors. Faintly a few rooms down, in the new make-shift nursery, Logan could hear her. Their tiny daughter and her huge lungs, she's screaming, for her life. She is screaming for Remy, she's screaming for James, he is the only one she isn't crying for. And because of that his heart ached.

Tears filled Logan's eyes; he's let everyone he loves in his life down. He didn't protect Remy like he had always promised himself he would; he's let his precious son down and worst of all he has let the tiny miracle up the hall, screaming her lungs out, down. She is screaming and there is nothing he could do to make it better for her, nothing but wait. His children, his life blood, his everything, are suffering because of him, because he failed because he's a lousy protector. The emotions becoming overwhelming, taking his head in his hands, he says softly,

"_But I'm not the only one who is going to suffer if he dies. It's not just me anymore, Blue."_

His voice trembling, at the thought of harm of any form coming to his precious children.

Hank's heart bled for his friend, he's right. There are two small lives that are depending on Remy, for their very own survival. Hank looks to the floor, not wanting to take all the facts in consideration, not wanting to believe things were as bad as they were, but there they were in a real bind.

"_Logan, if his heart rate slips anymore in the next hour we will weigh the pros and the cons. Alright?"_

Hank knew his friend felt especially helpless, knowing his son is in the care of that monster Sinister, but at least the mad scientist would keep the tiny boy alive and not begin any experimentation until he is stable, which would be a long time from now. But he can't tell Logan that, at least not right now.

* * *

Sinister sneezes as Vertigo calls him from his lab, he enters covering his ears.

"_Are you coming down with something, Sire?"_

"_No, what is this entire racket? What are interrupting my research for?"_

"_The boy, he won't stop crying."_

"_It's a baby Vertigo, one child. How could you not figure out how to care for it? It is the most basic of the human species."_

"_I'm not sure why but I know he's not wanting to calm because I'm not his mother."_

"_You're a woman, how can he tell the difference?"_

"_I'm not sure, but he knows."_

"_It doesn't matter, just make it quit crying or else I will. Have you fed it?"_

"_I tried, he won't eat."_

"_Changed it?"_

"_Into what? Is he a shape shifter like you?"_

Sinister takes a step closer, holding his hands out,

"_Give me that, now leave my sight, I don't know how you maintain life with a mental capacity as small as yours."_

She bowed her head handing him the squalling child.

"_Yes sir,"_

She said as she sulked from the room. Sinister, holding the tiny infant in front of his face for a better view. The small boy's crying quieting down when the large man's red eyes come into view.

"_You will stop crying, gutpest!"_

He says sternly. The tiny infant stops crying completely, and looks him in the eye, Sinister felt his skin crawl, he couldn't understand why, but the small child gave him the creeps. The child is only a few hours old and is studying him closely, just when a total silence fell over the lab, Sinister nearly jumped out of his skin, when the child began to scream again.

* * *

Hank and Logan sat in silence, Logan slowly losing his sense of reality, Hank trying to keep from stating the obvious. Hank studies him closely, watching his friend slowly fall to pieces. Logan stands, interrupting his thoughts; he looks to Hank nodding lightly. After a moment of hesitation he walks over to Remy, kissing his cheek. Without another word he exits up the hall toward the nursery. Hank could hear the child's shrill wail, and poor Jean back there trying to calm her.

Like Logan, his hypersensitive hearing could be a blessing, thought he felt it often a curse. Hearing a man's last breath or the scream of fear from a child are not things to be heard by others, especially without affecting them. Pushing those thoughts aside, he dwells on the positive. Hank smiled, knowing any child with Remy's charm and lungs and Logan's stubbornness was going to be a handful. He turns his attention back to Remy.

Logan walks down the sterile, white hall, to the last door on the left. He walks into the nursery, where Jean is trying to bottle feed Belle, who is still screaming her tiny head off. Refusing to take the bottle, sensing Logan's presence she screams louder. Surprising Logan, that it is even possible to be any louder than she already was. He looks to Jean, who looked exhausted; none of them had slept in over twenty-four hours.

'_After all she had come with us ta New Orleans ta retrieve Remy. While the rest of the team slept peacefully in their beds Remy lie in excruciating pain while the labor progressed with James. Jean by our side through most of it, by the time the early birds were up making breakfast, unbeknownst to them James was born and had been kidnapped by Vertigo. Jean was caring fer Belle, while I was out trying ta save Rem from Sinister who all the while tortured Rem-'_

He blinks slowly, clearing his throat trying to fight the emotion gathering there, forcing the memories from his head. Smiling weakly at Jean, she smiles tiredly back. Belle squalling her face red in distress.

"_Lemme try with 'er, go get some rest, Jeanie."_

She hands the tiny squalling infant over to Logan.

"_She's refusing to eat Logan. I sense much confusion and fear from her."_

"_I'll try ta make it better fer her, go and rest ya've been up too long, Jean."_

He says squeezing her shoulder.

"_There will be no rest for me, Logan, not until Remy is out of the woods at least. I'm going to start another pot of coffee."_

Logan smiles as she hands him the burp rag; he then turns all of his undivided attention to his daughter, rocking her gently. She finally begins to quiet down as he tries to wash as much love and affection over her as he can. Though he doesn't have a link with her, like he does with Remy, he knows she's very sensitive to the emotions of those around her.

He nuzzles her cheek with his thumb, her large blue eyes studying him.

"_Don't worry Darlin', tu père will be alright. I'll find a way ta keep'im with us."_

The tiny child finally relaxes in his arms, snuggling closer to him, clutching a handful of his shirt, same as she had Remy when she fed. She is soon asleep; he smiles when he realizes he is humming 'Frère Jacques' to her. He lifts up, kissing her cheek as he walks back in to where Remy laid, Beast napping in the chair next to the bed.

Logan knows she needs to feel Remy's presence to sleep, so he stood there watching over them both as they slept. He lifted her a bit higher remembering someone once told him, to hold a newborn near your heart.

'_For it is the lullaby to which the child slept in the womb.'_

She whimpers lightly upon being moved but is quickly asleep again. Jean comes back in nursing a cup of coffee.

"_Logan, you know Belle needs to be in the incubator, she's too small to be out of it yet. Her lungs aren't-"_

"_Her lungs are fine Red. Sides' Remy needs to feel her close, as much as she needs to feel him."_

She looks to Logan in the pale light shining at the foot of Remy's bed, his complexion is ashen and there were tracks left from where the tears had streaked down his cheek. He looked dead on his feet; the Carbodium poisoning him is beginning to take hold. His eyes fixated on his sleeping family, but the pain he is feeling is present in the creases forming around his eyes.

"_Logan?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Are you feeling well?"_

"_I'm fine."_

"_But you're-"_

"_I said, I'm fine."_

Belle stirs in her sleep, fussing lightly. Logan places a gentle hand against the back of her head and gently guides her head to lie against his chest again so she can hear his heartbeat, hoping to lull her back to sleep. She stirs again, screaming shrilly as she sobs, suddenly as she does, all of Remy's monitors' alarms begin sounding. Hank woken suddenly by all the commotion,

"_What's going on here Jean?" _

She rushes past a panicked Logan and a screaming Belle.

"_His blood pressure and heart rate are dropping!"_

_TBC..._

_**

* * *

**_

_**A NOTE FROM MOI:**_

_Hi everyone,_

_Hope this chapter is alright, writing on layovers in the airport can be testing! Especially when you have a little boy reading what you're typing outloud behind you (Well to the best of his ability anyway)... eek. LOL. The chapter is a little rushed, hopefully it makes sense. Hahaha. But here it is for your amusement. Yay!_

_I have just witnessed the preview of the illustration, to the first chapter of this story by Kawaii Yuki-chan! We are talking about turning "Shape of My Heart" into a comic. The links to the chapter illustrations will be up soon, sooooo exciting! The fact that she is kind enough to offer her artistic services is wonderful! _

_Please take a moment to answer the pole on my author's page regarding "Shape of My Heart" and review please!_

_Thanks and hope you all are well!_

_Love, K xoxo_


	18. Chapter 18: Small Miracles

**Shape of My Heart**

**By: Kurenai LeStrange**

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

**Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort**

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

_-Management hehe!_

* * *

**Chapter 18: Small Miracles**

"_Jean we have to get him stabilized! Logan, please get Belle out of here, she needs to be away from all this and we're going to need all the concentration we can get." _

Logan nods solemnly; he carries Belle back to the nursery, trying to keep his panic and heart ache in check. His daughter already suffering, from feeling Remy's pain, both physical and mental, will suffer his as well, if he doesn't get his internal shields up. After all, she is the one who warned them first of Remy's state of being. She knew he was crashing, she wanted to warn them. She tried and now she is terrified. He rocks her and paces with her while wiping the silent tears from his cheeks.

"_It's gonna be okay, Darlin'. I'm not gonna letcha down again." _

After twenty minutes of struggle, he finally got the tiny, exhausted babe to sleep. Kissing her forehead, he lays her in the incubator, while Jean and Hank diligently work, finally getting Remy stabilized. Logan walks in quickly a new look of determination on his face, rolling the right sleeve up on his shirt.

"_Hank, take my blood!"_

"_But Logan, if it doesn't work, he'll only die more quickly."_

"_It worked for Leech, this is my miracle. This is what I pray for, do it. Take my blood; take all of it if you have to!"_

"_The amount of blood needed could kill you Logan. You could die. And if we lose you, then we'll lose Remy anyway. Oh my stars and garters, what if what you said are true?"_

"_It's true alright, if Remy dies I die, due ta the link I have with 'im. But there's something I didn't mention earlier, if he lives and I die, he'll be fine. That's the cruel thing about being a' empath, they can make emotional links with people as many times as they like, but when the person dies, the empath is forced ta carry on living with their better halves emotional imprint and in Remy's case, having some telepathic ability, their memories as well. A cruel fate I know, but our children'll have the parent they need. They don't need me ta survive but they'll die without Rem."_

Logan looks Hank in the eye, the fire of sheer will and determination burning brightly. Hank sighs sadly, hating there is a chance to lose his friend but he is right. The twins' survival is solely based off of Remy's survival, finally he nods in acceptance.

"_I'll get Jean, but we have to wait until you have fully healed from the shot you took from Sinister earlier. Alright?"_

"_Yep, fine by me."_

Beast takes a sample of blood from each of them, then rushes from the room as Logan takes his place back at Remy's side. After a few minutes Jean and Hank come back, with a gurney and a transfusion kit. Logan pushes the gurney next to Remy's bedside, and then hops on, kicking off his cowboy boots. Jean takes out a flashlight and examines the damage Logan sustained from earlier battle with Sinister. Everything had healed, what normally only took seconds, took almost an hour. She picks the scalpel up from the tray of tools.

"_Logan I need to do another quick test, this is going to hurt. Okay?"_

"_Jus' do it, Red."_

She places the scalpel at his temple, scoring it two inches down narrowly slicing his face open, just deep enough to cause bleeding but no real damage. The blood flows as Logan hisses in pain, a few seconds later the wound was completely healed.

He looks up to her and she smiles,

_"Looks like you're clear. Lay back, let's get started."_

Logan lays down, looking over to Remy. He bites his lip, seeing all the tubes, wires and machines he is plugged up to. Taking his love's hand, he quickly leans up kissing his bruised lips then lies back again, nodding at Jean. She runs the transfusion line from Logan to Remy, and then slips a shot into Logan's vein so he would sleep through the procedure. The last they need is him destroying the lab if anything were to go wrong. They would lose Remy for sure!

* * *

**_A Lil' Hi from me:_**

_Hi everyone! Hope all is well! The trip is going well so I've gotta say I'm excited to post these two chapters for you all! I hope you enjoy and review these two upcoming chapters! _

_Thx and Love always,_

_K xo_


	19. Chapter 19: Near Miss

**Shape of My Heart**

**By: Kurenai LeStrange**

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

**Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort**

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

_-Management hehe!_

* * *

**Chapter 19: Near Miss**

_"Looks like you're clear. Lay back, let's get started."_

Logan lays down, looking over to Remy. He bites his lip, seeing all the tubes, wires and machines he is plugged up to. Taking his love's hand, he quickly leans up kissing his bruised lips then lies back again, nodding at Jean. She runs the transfusion line from Logan to Remy, and then slips a shot into Logan's vein so he would sleep through the procedure. The last thing they need is him destroying the lab if anything were to go wrong. They would lose Remy for sure!

She looks over to Hank, and he smiles hoping to soothe her nervousness,

_"I hope that lady luck is among the pulsating patrons of today's game!"_

Once they are prepared for the transfusion she begins the machine then steps out of the room behind the two-way mirror and prays.

_'Please pull through Remy, for your children and Logan. They need you. We all do.'_

She thinks of all the moments she'd come across Remy in the mansion a few months before his kidnapping. The hurt, guilt and loneliness in his eyes, where enough to break her heart, but it was worse when Logan wasn't around.

She always tried to be nice to him, and include him in things but she knew one person's actions can't make up for everyone else's. She knew how mistreated he is by the rest of the team, though he was able to make it through the trial, when he came back to the mansion, everyone treated him like a first class criminal. Even Storm who had claimed him as a brother often left him emotionally out in the cold.

Jean remembers a particular moment, when she and Remy had been left behind to watch after the students when the team was out on a mission and The Professor was away on Muir Island.

**_The team had been gone four hours, which was the last time she had seen Remy. The Mansion seemed much emptier than usual, because it was the weekend and some of the students have gone out or gone home for the weekend._**

**_"Remy?"_**

**_She covered both sides of the mansion, and didn't find him. Scratching her head in confusion, she calls for him again. No answer._**

**_'Where would he be?'_**

**_She thinks for a moment, suddenly snapping her fingers at the realization that dawned on her._**

**_"The roof!"_**

**_She makes her way to the top floor, exiting to the balcony, and then pulling herself up onto the railing to reach the roofs ledge. She smiles watching Remy as he sat watching the sunset fall behind the mountains. The glorious purples, pinks and oranges, light up the sky in magnificence._**

**_Sensing her presence he addresses her._**

**_"Logan always hat da bes' view o' da sunset. So quiet up 'ere, non? Keeps da' inner demons frum ma t'ougts, comprendre (understand)?"_**

**_She quietly walks across the rough surface to take a seat at his side, taking in the view she often takes for granted. She looks over seeing tears, falling down his cheeks. She breathes in deeply trying not to pry, trying not to dig in his subconscious and find a cure to his despair._**

**_"Remy are you okay?"_**

**_He covers his ears with his gloved hands try to block out the sounds of Morlocks screaming, Sinister's laughter and Sabretooths' vicious whispered threats. He shakes his head trying to clear the static in his mind, desperately trying to retain a grasp of his former life, trying to find a focus._**

**_ 'No matta' w'at tho', de ot'ers don' hesitate t' remind moi 'ow different t'ings are now. No one loves moi; no one cares w'et'er Rem' lives or dies a terrible deat'. No one shows Rem' kindness or affection, no one 'cept Logan, de Professor an' y' Jean.'_**

**_Tears spring to her eyes at the realization of the thoughts he was projecting. He reaches up wiping the stray tears from his cheeks, clearing his throat as he displays his normal, charming wide toothed grin. Jean could feel his hypnotic charm envelope her, his signal, that he's trying to cover up the projection before she could read it. Too late._**

**_"Wat, somet'in wrong wit Rem? Non, ever'tings fine, Chère. Now on t' mo' pressin' matta's; wat we make fo' dinna?"_**

**_Jean looks into his eyes, she can see they are pleading for her not to inquire any deeper._**

**_"Remy, I-"_**

**_"Jean, s'il vous plait…"_**

**_"Remy I won't ask anything, I just want you to know if you ever need anything or anyone to talk to, I'm here for you."_**

**_Remy looked away quickly, tears burning his eyes, he didn't want to be anyone's charity case._**

**_"Non, pity fo moi!"_**

**_He whispers harshly turning his back to her; she grabs his shoulders turning him to face her._**

**_"No, Remy I don't pity you; you are the strongest person I know. I've seen inside your mind, remember? I've seen what you've been through and what you've overcome. I know what Sinister did. But I also know the strength you possess and that you don't need pity from anyone. I just want to be your friend. I just want to be here for you."_**

**_He gives her a sideways look. His heart aching at the sight of her tears as she pleads with him. His broken heart ached at the chance to make a friend, the sorrow building in his chest, but he can't show weakness, even though he knows her intentions are true. He takes a deep breath controlling his emotional state, then smiles broadly, placing a soft hand on her shoulder._**

**_"Jean, y' worry t' much, Rem always com' out on top. I only play da bon 'ands. Après toi, Chère. (After you, dear.)"_**

**_He smiles again, though she knew his heart was breaking, yet she didn't push him to speak, she merely took his outstretched hand and made her way back down to the kitchen to prepare a meal he wouldn't eat._**

She is so wrapped up in her thoughts she doesn't notice the Professor's presence next to her. He pats her arm; she nearly jumps out of her skin.

_"Professor! I didn't hear you come in."_

_"Sorry to startle you Jean, it's just your worry was being projected all the way up to my study. How is he?"_

_"Well, Remy's not going to make it unless Logan's blood can help him heal. He's lost over four quarts today and it's a miracle he's still alive at all but he is."_

_"He'll pull through, that boy is much too stubborn to die."_

_"Oh, Professor, I hope so!"_

They look on to the two men on the tables in the room before them.

Beast walks in as the alarms begin blaring; Remy's blood pressure is dropping, as is his oxygen and most of his vitals. Beast runs over to the monitors Remy is flat lining, he begins CPR, but it wasn't taking any effect. After two minutes of CPR with no heart rate and brain activity down to nothing, Beast calls the time of death at seven fifty two pm.

He checks on Wolverine, who had also flat lined without Beast even noticing, as he pronounces Logan, Remy's monitors begins showing negative activity, then his heart rate and respiration begins to pick up also. He is almost back to normal when Logan's kicks back on as well. Beast hits his knees, as Jean rushes in; they give a prayer of thanks as they cry into each other's collars.

After a few minutes they stand looking over Remy, the small scrapes and cuts on his face slowly disappearing as well as the tear in his lip. Jean touches his lip softly,

_"Do you think he will heal fully?"_

"No, but I do believe this will get him out of the danger zone, if Logan hadn't been attacked with that Carbodium beforehand, then I could have said, yes. I've got to see to Wolverine."

She looks up, watching Hank put an oxygen mask on Logan, then he quickly cuts off, the blood soaked shirt. The gouges and hematomas from his battle with Sinister are back. Hank rushes to stop the bleeding and cleanse the wounds. Jean moves back over to the doorway to be out of the way. She feels an embrace pull her close.

_"Hey, what happened to Logan?"_

_"Scott?"_

_"Did I scare you?"_

_"Sorry, I'm just really tired and a little jumpy. It's been a long day; we'll talk about it later."_

The Professor joins Jean and Scott as they stand watching helplessly in silence while Beast works. When he finishes up, he then walks over to the small group.

_"I think we should call a team meeting."_

Scott nods,

"_We'll be in the war room in five minutes."_

***  
Beast walks into a room of sullen, teary eyed X-Men, no one certain of what has happened. Jubilee rushed over to Beast,

_"Is Wolvie going to die? He can't… He can't Beast!"_

He smiles down upon the sobbing teen, patting her head.

_"It's going to be a while but he's going to be fine. Now if everyone will have a seat I can explain some of what has happened."_

Jubilee, Storm, Kurt, Jean and Scott, make their way to their seat around the table with the Professor. Beast clears his throat, knowing most of the details of today's events will not surface until Remy and Logan are ready to explain it themselves. The team only needs the bare minimum in the way of details.

_"Well, it does seem there is some truth to the fact that Logan and Remy are empathetically linked. At seven forty-five this evening Jean tested Logan to make sure his healing factor made a full recovery from his battle with Sinister. At seven forty-eight he passed the test and we began a transfusion line between Remy and Logan. At seven fifty-two, Remy began flat lining, and though Logan seemed to be in good health he began to flat line at seven fifty-four."_

Everyone is one the edge of their seats, wanting to know what happened next.

_"By eight o'one, I was pronouncing their deaths-"_

Beast could barely finish his statement due to the loud sobs and gasps overtaking the room. Wiping the tears from his own eyes, he raises a hand calling for silence.

_"By eight o'five, they were both stabilized but both now lie in a coma. By the healing taking place in Remy's body, he should be out of the danger zone by tomorrow morning if all goes well, though his time of actual recovery is uncertain. Logan's a different story his healing factor is very slow right now and he seems to have been greatly affected by the Carbodium he was poisoned with earlier. He's stable that is all I can say for now."_

_"Are they going to make a full recovery?" _

Scott asks questioningly.

_"In theory, yes. Truthfully though, I dunno. Logan's healing factor should be more than enough to repair the damage. But he was weakened so greatly by the battle with Sinister and then by the loss of blood there is now way to know for sure. Only time will tell."_

_"What shall we do about my niece, while my brother is unconscious?"_

_"Jean and I will be taking shifts to feed and care for her, she will be well looked after until Remy is able to care for her. Just everyone continue on our search for James and keep the prayers coming, this is a dark time in their lives, ours as well. Now if you'll excuse me."_

With that Beast nods then turns, leaving a room full of chaos in his wake and heads for the infirmary again. When he gets there he looks into check on his friends. He knew they would still be unconscious, but is surprised when he sees Logan standing at Remy's bedside. He is pale, and his bandages have soaked through with blood. He is standing over Remy with the same look of concern etched into his features as before.

_"Hank."_

He says hoarsely. Beast walks over to his friend,

"_Logan, my friend what are you doing out of bed?"_

* * *

**A Note from Moi!**

**Hi guys,**

**Finally, stabilization! Remy was beginning to worry even me and I'm the author! I'm so excited about the upcoming chapters; the fluff-tastic sweetness is coming! **

**I have been reviewing the chapter illustrations done by Miss Kawaii Yuki-Chan and I have to say I'm frickin' excited! Chapter 1's illustration is up, and it's beautiful! Here is the link: (You'll have to type the dot com correctly, FF won't let me type it right... eek.)**

**deviantart dot com/art/Shape-of-My-Heart-Chapter-1-164197556**

**Yay! Please don't forget to take the poll on my Author Page!**

**My trip has been tiring but I am trying my best to keep the chappies coming. In health or sickness or crazy moments, I'm trying. So please reconfirm my awesome author-ness and review this and any other chapter you'd like! That would really make me feel great! **

**Love always, **

**K xoxo**


	20. Chapter 20: Battle Within

**Shape of My Heart**

**By: Kurenai LeStrange**

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

**Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort**

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

_-Management hehe!_

**CHAPTER 20: Battle Within**

When Henry McCoy gets back to the infirmary, he looks into the patient area to check on his friends. He knew they would still be unconscious, but is surprised when he sees Logan standing at Remy's bedside. His bandages have soaked through with blood and he is quite pale. He is standing over Remy with the same look of concern etched into his features as before.

"_Hank."_

He says hoarsely. Beast walks over to Logan,

"_Logan, my friend what are you doing out of bed?"_

"_Remy was crying in his sleep. He needed me and when he's back in a deep enough sleep, I'm goin' ta see Belle."_

"_You should really be laying down Logan; your healing factor hasn't repaired itself yet. You shouldn't be putting this kind of stress on your body."_

"_Hank, my family needs me. I will not let them down again."_

Hank's heart breaks for his friend,

"_Logan, you've never let them or any of us down. Your dedication is unlike anyone's I've ever seen."_

"_Oh yeah? Well, tell that ta my boy, who now lies in the clutches of that madman. Then ya can tell that ta the tiny girl lying in an incubator fighting for her life. I shoulda known what was goin' on, all the signs were there. It's not like his body and powers haven't changed on us before, dammit this is ma fault. I shoulda found him faster."_

Hank places a caring hand on his shoulder as Logan berates himself.

"_We will find him, Logan. I promise we will get him back safely and as for Belle I have good news. Jean ran some tests and you were right, she has your healing factor. She'll be fine, though it is a very young age to already be showing such a prominent sign of mutation."_

Logan looks down the guilt etches into his pale tired features. Then a small smile.

"_I need ta see her."_

Hank smiles back at his old friend. A compromise would have to be made, barely alive or not Wolverine is as bull-headed as ever.

"_Okay, I'll make a deal with you Logan. You let me change your bandages, and I'll take you to feed Belle. Deal?"_

Logan looks at him, his face unreadable,

"_Okay."_

Hank rushes to get the wheelchair from the corner, when he gets back Logan kisses Remy's hand then strokes his cheek,

"_I'm gonna take care of Belle, I'll be back soon. I love ya, Rem."_

Heart monitors and ventilators give him the only reply. Silence is his answer. He looks to the floor again, biting back the emotion his face is so desperately trying to expel. He gingerly sits in the chair, wincing as his ribs brush the arm support of the wheelchair.

"_Okay old friend, let's get those bandages changed."_

"_Fine."_

Beast wheels him to the next room where he helps him to the examination table, then carefully cuts the old bandages off. Logan hisses, the tenderness and pain in his ribs hard to hide. Beast looks closely at the damage, his muscle tissue and joining tendons in his ribs showing clearly through his where his skin should be, the blood loss is pretty immense. Beast picks up the antiseptic pouring it on a rag then running along the massive wound causing Logan to hiss and growl the pain searing.

"_Are you okay?"_

"_Yeah, just hurry it up will ya?"_

"_Of course my friend."_

He drags the antiseptic rag across the wounds again, causing another round of hissing and growls. Logan's brow raised, he looks at Beast. Hank could see the wild look in Logan's eye spark momentarily. Logan looks straight ahead, holding his head for a moment, his eyes shut tightly as Hank rubs the healing salve across the tender, raw area, giving him a bit of relief.

Finally he grabs a few medicated gauze pads, placing them on the deepest cuts, then wrapping his ribs and right shoulder with thick gauze. Then he quickly cleans the cut on Logan's temple from the test Jean did and the deep gash on his cheek from the other shot Sinister got lucky with. Beast tapes gauze pads onto his cheek and temple, and then gently helps him down from the examination table to the wheelchair.

"_Before I see Belle, I wanna to change into some clean clothes."_

"_That will be fine. When I drop you off at your room I'll come I'll come back down and pump Remy."_

Wolverine looks back to Beast an eyebrow raised in question at _his comment. Beast smiles, knowing explanation is needed._

"_Now that Remy's body is healing, in order for Belle to not have to drink formula, I will have to pum-"_

"_Yeah, alright I get the picture."_

Wolverine snaps at him, looking down to his feet, fighting the raging animal within him. His feral side knows Beast will have to touch his love in a somewhat intimate way in order to extract the nutrients from Remy's body. He trusted Hank with his life and yet he had to fight himself not to cut his friends throat out over having to lift Remy's shirt. He has noticed since he woke from the transfusion he has had a non-stop raging battle with the Wolverine within. Beast wheels Logan along in silence, when they arrive at the elevator he clears his throat.

"_Logan, are you alright?"_

"_Yeah, just not feelin' too much like talkin'."_

"_I understand."_

Silence.

The ding of the elevator resounds through the hall as they enter, Logan clears his throat again. Beast looks down as he presses the button to Logan and Remy's floor. Tears were rolling down Logan's cheeks.

"_Logan,"_

"_I can't feel him Hank."_

"_Who, Logan?"_

"_Remy. And I know if I can't feel him, somethin's wrong. He knows James is gone. He's letting go."_

"_Remy will be fine, he's been through a lot, give him time. He loves you too much to leave. We'll find James. Concentrate on getting better, so that when the time comes, if you must, you can fight for him."_

"_Yeah, I will."_  
The elevator stops on their floor as Beast wheels him toward his room; he looks at the door across the hall from his. Remy's room. Beast stops the chair in between the two doors.

"_Do you need me to help you change?"_

"_Naw, I'll be fine. I'll meet ya down in the med lab in a bit."_

Beast nods then bends down to lock the wheelchair tires. Logan grunts as he pushes himself up and out of the chair, his free hand cradling his tender ribs and chest, finally he's standing on his feet. Looking at the two doors, he turns back to watch Beast heading back to the elevator.

"_Hank, take the chair. I don' need it."_

"_But I feel-"_

"_I told ya, I don' need it."_

"_Alright, you know how to reach me if you need help."_

"_Yeah, please take care of ma family, I'll be down soon."_

"_Of course Logan."_

Hank says over his shoulder with a friendly wave. Logan ducks into his room, heading straight for the private bathroom. He washes his face, and then brushes his teeth, when he closes the medicine cabinet the mirror reveals his true form. His normal olive complexion is pale and the bags under eyes show how exhausted he truly is. He looks closely at the scalpel mark on his temple it is almost healed completely and the blaster burn on his cheek is closing slowly.

He turns to grab a towel, crying out as the pain shoots down his side into his feet. He knew it would be a few days until his ribs healed. He stands bent over the sink, trying to stabilize himself for a moment. When the pain subsides he takes a deep breath pushing himself upright. Moving a little slower than before, he grabs his deodorant and uses a little cologne hoping to mask any odors before he is allowed to have a shower.

He quickly rushes into his room, trying to change clothes and boxers, which took a while. When he finally buttoned the blue flannel Remy bought him a few days before his kidnapping, he looked in the mirror. Hoping he would look acceptable if Remy woke today and saw him. His hair is hanging in his face, so he grabs his pomade off the mantle and runs a bit through his hair.

Grabbing the cigar on his nightstand, he pockets his matches then leaves the room. He gets out to the hall, stopping in front of Remy's door deciding whether or not to go in. He hasn't been able to enter his room, since the night Remy was taken. He takes hold of the doorknob then pushes the door open. As he enters the stale atmosphere, flipping on the light as he steps into the room, memories of their last night together before he was taken wash over him….

TBC…

Notes from moi:

This is a working chapter this chapter and the two before it are as well, they will be updated with final copies as soon as my time on set is through. I've gotten many messages begging for new material. So here ya go! Hope you enjoy it. Thanks and remember… to find out what happens next: review, review, review!

I can't wait to hear from you, your input is sooo important to me!

Love always,

K xoxo!


	21. Chapter 21: Shape of My Heart

**Shape of My Heart**

**By: Kurenai LeStrange**

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

**Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/Non-con/Comfort**

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned, Bub. Thx!_

_

* * *

**(DUE TO WRITER'S BLOCK: I have deleted a few chapters and wrote them over again. Enjoy!)**  
_

**CHAPTER 21: Shape of My Heart**

"_Yeah, please take care of ma' family, I'll be down soon."_

"_Of course, Logan."_

Hank says over his shoulder with a friendly wave, in his wake he knows he is leaving a broken man. He risks a glance over his shoulder to see Logan leaning against the wall both arms covering his head. As if he felt the eyes on him he looks up toward Hank, who quickens his pace, whistling as he turns back around whistling and pushing the chair faster up the darkened corridor.

Sighing slowly, Logan ducks into his room, heading straight for the private bathroom. Carefully removing his blood-stained shirt he tosses it into the trash, as he turns on the sink. He washes his face and then brushes his teeth. Spitting, he throws the tooth brush into the cup, as he takes a handful of water to rinse his mouth. Spitting again, he splashes his face with the cool water, grunting in pain when he bends too far into the sink. Grasping both sides of the sink for a moment, his mind reeling in pain and anguish; the exhaustion is really catching up with him, he growls deeply trying to keep the beast within at bay.

Once the pain subsides, he breathes out loudly, finally opening his eyes. He stares into the white porcelain of the sink. Reaching up, he closes the medicine cabinet, the mirror revealing his true form. His normal olive complexion is ashen and the bags under eyes show how exhausted he truly is. His stubble had long since become a beard and the water from the sink is dripping down his face onto his muscular chest. There are bruises and cuts littered across his upper body torso, many of them hidden by the new bandages. He looked like hell, but not only that, he felt like it as well. He looks closely at the scalpel incision on his temple, what would have normally healed in seconds was taking hours. In fact it's almost been a day. But it has almost healed completely and the blaster burn on his cheek is closing slowly.

Forgetting again of his condition, he turns to grab a towel, crying out as the pain of pulled stitches and scabbed on bandages flares down his side into his feet. Instantaneously, his stomach nearly lurches due to the concentration of pain. He knew it would be a few days until his ribs fully healed. He stands bent over the sink, trying to stabilize himself for a moment. When the pain subsides he takes a deep breath pushing himself upright. Moving a little slower than before; he grabs his deodorant and then uses a little Stetson hoping to mask any odors before he is allowed to have a shower. He looks into the mirror again, nearly putting his fist through the reflective glass. He growls again,

"_Weakling!"_

He shakes his head breathing deeply, the beast snarling inwardly. He tries to rush to change clothes, but he angrily found his injuries slowed him down. So naturally it took a while. When he finally buttoned the blue flannel Remy bought him a few days before his kidnapping, he looked in the mirror. Sighing he hopes, he would look acceptable if Remy were to wake and see him. His hair is hanging in his face, so he grabs the pomade off the mantle and runs a bit through his hair.

Grabbing the Cuban he had been saving, from the drawer in the nightstand, Logan pockets his matches then finally leaves the room. He knows if he takes much longer Blue will send a search party for him and it wouldn't be pretty. When he steps out into the hall, he stops when he looks up noticing Remy's door, like a man possessed he walks right up to it. Standing there his blood thundering in his ears, he makes the decision of whether or not to go in. He hasn't been able to enter Remy's room, since the night he was taken. He takes hold of the doorknob then pushes the door open. He flips on the light as he enters the stale atmosphere.

Memories of their last night together, wash over him, tears instantly springing to his eyes.

As if he were reliving the memory completely, he walked over to the phonograph machine in front of his window. One of Remy's most prized possessions and apparently one of his first jobs for his initiation into the Thieves Guild. Placing the needle on the record he flips on the power, allowing the melody to wash over him like a tidal wave.

He caught himself swaying back and forth, like he and Remy did as they danced on that fated night. Logan had never listened to the lyrics of Remy's favorite song before, though he had heard it a thousand times, now it all made sense why Remy loved the song so much. In a way the song told of the tragedies and triumphs of Remy's own life. Logan knew the true shape of Remy's heart,

"_He deals the cards as a meditation,_

_And those he plays never suspect,_

_He doesn't play for the money he wins,_

_He doesn't play for respect._

_He deals the card to find the answer,_

_The sacred geometry of chance,_

_The hidden law of a probable outcome,_

_The numbers lead a dance._

_I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier,_

_I know that clubs are weapons of war,_

_I know that diamonds mean money for this art,_

_But that's not the shape of my heart."_

The tears pour as he sways to the beat, feeling as though Remy were actually there pressed against him, folded into his arms like on that night. He is a good three or four inches taller than Logan but has always fit perfectly in his arms, the back of Remy's head rested on his shoulder, his lean back pressed into Logan's chest. Logan remembers reaching out caressing his cheek with a calloused paw, his hand then taken in Remy's smooth as silk, dainty digits then brought down around his waist. His hands flush with the tiniest curve to Remy's stomach. Their children… they were there on that night, unknown about by him and unprotected.

He bit his lip trying to force the thought to the back of his mind, the memory pushing back with full force overtaking him, remembering the short conversation they had.

"_Ya don't have any regrets marryin' about an old man, do you?"_

_The Cajun stops dancing, then turns to face him, his fire on onyx eyes burning into Logan's very soul. There were tears in those beautiful, alien orbs,_

"_Y' took dis t'ief in ta y'r heart, an' y' lov'd 'im, when no un else did. Fo' dat, Remy'll make y' da' 'appiest 'omme alive. Rem'll love ya da' day he die, non? Y' still lov' Remy as much?"_

"_More than ever, Darlin'"_

"_Den 'ow can Rem not be 'appy t' be mar'ied t' da love o' his life?"_

_He smiled then pulled Remy close again, molding his body to the Cajun's, wanting to hold him as close as he can. Wanting to breathe in his essence, as he lay his head back onto his shoulder, his long red hair splashing down Logan's back. It smelled of the coconut shampoo Remy loved so much, he sighs as they begin to sway to the song again. Logan taking in his full beauty as they rock back and forth, his arms draped around Remy's neck. His long lashes, high cheek bones, full pouting lips that ached to be kissed, his pale creamy skin that seemed to glow, everything about his mate screamed of sensuality. _

The memories hold over him broke, though only for a moment.

'Damn, did his skin look that of a seraph! That sly little minx, wrapped in all his seduction, his eyes burning into ma' very soul. He knew about our impending parenthood and hadn't even told me. Standing in this very spot in front of the window, Remy had taken my hand in his and slid it under his thin cotton shirt placing it on the tiny swell. I should have known!'

The memory grasps him again.

_From his flowing fire mane, to his collarbones, to his pelvic bones, to his toes, everything about him seemed to flow rivers of wanton pleasure and skilled training in the art of lovemaking. The fact his scent was changing, and his skin glowed wasn't enough to distract Logan, the small moans that escaped his husbands' lips as Logan carefully and skillfully kneaded the flesh of Remy's stomach was enough to nearly push him over the edge. Remy was nearly purring, as he rubbed the side of his face against Logan's gruff cheek. He was fighting the Wolverine within not to mark him and ravage him at that moment. Logan looked down upon the beauty in his arms, Remy looks up with tears in his eyes. He silently turned toward Logan, kissed his cheeks and then wrapped his arms around his neck. He held him tightly, almost desperately._

_Logan could smell his fear, so he gently placed his hands on Remy's shoulders pulling him out to where Remy could look him in the eyes._

"_Rem, is somethin' wrong?"_

"_Logan, I…" _

_Remy quickly looked away._

"_Rem? Is it me? Are ya not happy with me?"_

_The tears began to pour from the demon's wide, shocked eyes._

"_Non! Dat tin't it a' awl!" _

_Logan kissed his forehead. _

'_Remy opened his mouth ta speak, as Scalphunter and Sabretooth busted thru the window next'a us. He was gonna to tell me about 'em, __I grabbed him and tried ta get him behind me.__ All I could remember was the fury I felt when Scalphunter lifted Rem an' slammed him against the wall. Next I knew Creed was in ma' face and everything went black as I heard Remy's shrieks of terror. Poor kid thought I was dead.'_

Logan bit his lip fighting the tears.

'_I failed them, I failed ma' family. I couldn't protect 'em. Everyone that's ever said it was right! I'm just a worthless mangy mutt.'_

Logan's thoughts imprison him in a further state of melancholy. He swears he could almost smell the warm spicy aroma that Remy radiated as the song ended a few minutes later. Lost in his thoughts, he turned off the machine then walks to the door. Before he flips the lights off he looks back, still seeing himself and Remy dancing in front of the window. He closes his eyes, opening them again to reveal nothing. He blinks away the tears, as he flips the switch pulling the door behind him while clearing the knot from his throat.

He wipes his eyes, pops the cigar in his mouth, then heads to the elevator clearing his throat again.

'_Damn emotions.' _He thought glumly.

He gets off at the main floor, looks around for any team mates, not feeling up to a million questions, the main two being:

"_Why are you out of bed yet?" _and_ "If you're up who's with Remy?"_

He grins lightly when he sees the coast is clear. Heading for the back door, he hopes for a little peace and quiet to clear his mind before he heads back to medbay again. He lights his cigar and takes a long drag, thinking of the last few moments. Tears well up as does the lump in his throat. The scent of sulfur, followed by a popping sound, proves his peace and quiet is about to be majorly compromised.

He shakes his head as he takes another drag, clearing his throat loudly, he turns toward the new and slightly unwanted presence.

"_Herr Logan, Itz goot to zee you up und about, ya?"_

"_Hey Elf, just hoping for a lil' peace and quiet before I head back downstairs."_

"_Zorry to bot'erz you. I vaz vorried about you und Gambit."_

"_Thanks, Elf. I'll see ya round, right now I've got an important dinner date with a young lady and I'd hate ta disappoint her."_

After taking a long pull from his cigar, Logan puts it out and turns to make his way toward the elevator.

"_Herr Logan!"_

"_Yeah,"_

"_Vould 'ou vant me to get 'ou zere more quickly, zen?"_

"_Su-"_

Before Logan can finish his reply they have been teleported to the nursery, and he is standing next to his daughter's bed, his ribs throbbing. He gasps, as the pain catches up with him, his daughter begins crying because of the projected hurt. He regains control of himself as Kurt rushes to his side.

"_I zid not know 'ou vere 'urt, mine friend."_

"_I'm fine."_

Logan lies,

"_Will you tell Beast I need a bottle, please."_

"_Ov Courze!"_

As Nightcrawler races to find Beast, Logan takes a few deep breaths looking into his flannel shirt. He laughs to himself, '_Note to self, no more teleporting til' I'm healed.'_

He sees where the blood is beginning to soak through the bandages.

"_Shit. I'm in trouble now."_

_

* * *

_

**Notes From the Author:**

Hi everyone,

Poor Logan, he can only beat himself up for so long, right? THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN SENDING ME THE SWEET NOTES! Again this was a re-write but I am much happier with it and believe the rest of the story will flow much more freely. I really hope this chapter has worth the wait! I have re-written it three times for your enjoyment. Writer's block has been TERRIBLE, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! I am truly sorry it took so long for this! I have re-written the next chapter twice so far but I think I really like how it is taking shape. Apparently my writing style is evolving. Would have posted sooner but I have been recovering from major upper respiratory sickness and working in Nola again, so I'm sorry about the wait. Anywho, I hope all is well and I really hope this chapter makes some sense. (I am heavily medicated…lol! Yay!)

**So to see what happens next: Review, review, review!**

I hope all is well with all of you!

Also! I'm going to start a segment next chapter answering any questions you might have about the story, so if you have one:

**SPEAK AND BE HEARD! **(So do I sense a title for the segment here? Lol.)

But send them via personal message, makes things easier for me!

**Love always,**

**Nai-Chan! xoxoxo**


	22. Chapter 22: Fated Night

**Shape of My Heart**

**By: Kurenai LeStrange**

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

**Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort**

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

_-Management hehe!_

_

* * *

_

**CHAPTER 22: Fated Night**

After taking a long pull from his cigar, Logan puts it out and turns to make his way toward the elevator.

"_Herr Logan!"_

"_Yeah,"_

"_Vould 'ou vant me to get 'ou zere more quickly, zen?"_

"_Su-"_

Before Logan can finish his reply they have been teleported to the nursery, and he is standing next to his daughter's bed, his ribs throbbing. He gasps, as the pain catches up with him, his daughter begins crying because of the projected hurt. He regains control of himself as Kurt rushes to his side.

"_I zid not know 'ou vere 'urt, mine friend."_

"_I'm fine."_

Logan lies,

"_Will you tell Beast I need a bottle, please."_

"_Ov Courze!"_

As Nightcrawler races to find Beast, Logan takes a few deep breaths looking into his flannel shirt. He laughs to himself, '_Note to self, no more teleporting til' I'm healed.'_

He sees where the blood is beginning to soak through the bandages.

"_Shit. I'm in trouble now."_

Suddenly startling Logan, the silence is broken; with the sweetest sound in the world.

"_WaaaaaaaaaHHHHHH!"_

Belle screams aloud. He grunts loudly as he leans over the railing of the crib and picking up the tiny girl, screaming her lungs out. Not noticing, the blood stain he's left on the railing of the crib where he picked her up. He holds her close, cuddling the tiny miracle Remy had given him. He rocks her soothingly as he walks towards the window. The moonlight is pouring in, bathing the tiny cherub in his arms with its pale heavenly glow. He watches her study him in the pale light. Logan looks out the window. A night like that normally, he and Remy would have been walking through the garden or making love under their favorite tree next to a scenic lake they loved, a few miles away.

He still couldn't come to grips with his new reality: Remy is in a coma and there was nothing he can do about it. He is a father; he is at that very moment is holding his very own daughter. His son is gone, and he can do nothing to save him because yet again he is physically compromised.

He still wonders how both of his beautiful children even made it through the attack. Remy was roughed up pretty badly. Still shaking off memories of Remy's panicked shrieks. He could feel the phantom pain of the carbodium blade that was in his side, leaving him paralyzed and in shock on the floor as Scalphunter drug Remy screaming toward the window, before he knocked him unconscious the night he was taken from him.

No matter how he fought it, the memories flood his subconscious like a bursting dam, they just kept pushing through.

_They had caught them completely off guard, Logan had shielded Remy from the glass when Sabretooth and Scalphunter burst through the window, but Remy reacted quickly, pulling, then charging three cards he had in the pocket of his leather pants. He let them fly striking Sabretooth in the face as he rushed for Logan, merely slowing him for a he charges four more, two striking Scalphunter in the left arm the others exploding against the wall behind him. Sheet rock and plaster raining down, as Sabretooth laughs wiping the blood from his vision._

"_Yer gonna pay fer that one kid!"_

_Remy reaches into his pocket, quickly pulling out more cards. Sabretooth, knows he needs a distraction from the kid, he decides to turn his attention elsewhere._

"_Hey there Runt, I know ya missed me… didn't ya?"_

_Logan screams as he stands, releasing his claws,_

"_Yer gonna have ta kill me Victor! Ya can't have 'im!"_

_Victor snarls as Logan rushes him,_

"_That's the point Runt."_

_Logan's blades impale the muscular flesh of Victor's shoulders causing him to cry out but for only a second. The next second he begins laughing,_

"_Yer gonna have ta do better than that little brother."_

_Suddenly Victor reached for his side, grabbing the blade he had stashed there. Before Logan had even realized what had happened, Victor had already stabbed him three times, on the fourth he left the blade impaled between his ribs then breaks it off. Logan coughed feeling his lung become heavy as it filled with blood. Coughing again, blood flows from Logan's mouth, Remy shrieks in fear and panic,_

"_Lo, cher, à l'aide!"_

_(Lo, dear, help!)_

_Scalphunter laughs gruffly, Remy gasps, freezing in fear not realizing he had gotten too wrapped up in Logan's fight, so he didn't notice Scalphunter sneak up behind him._

"_Gon' git you, Cajun."_

"_NNNOoooonnn! S'il vous plait! Remy can' go back dere!"_

_Logan fell to his knees as he felt the paralysis set in._

"_Carbodium…" _

_Logan said hoarsely._

"_Yep…Ha!"_

_Victor snorts._

"_REMY!"_

_Victor laughs as Logan screamed his outrage mixed with fear as he is forced to watch Scalphunter grab Remy from behind by the throat, turning him then slamming him against the wall. Causing Remy to gasp loudly then scream._

"_Non, arrêter! S'il vous plaît, Rem won' fight'cha!"_

_(No, stop! Please, Remy, won' fight 'cha!)_

_Scalphunter laughs then pulls him close clutching him by the throat so fiercely he could barely breathe. Scalphunter forced him to watch Sabretooth dispatch Logan. Blood was beginning to pool around him, laughing Sabretooth kicks him in the ribs. Remy screams._

"_Logan, non! Sabr'toot'_ _arrêter, s'il vous plaît!"_

_(Logan, no! Sabretooth stop, please!)_

_Victor looks to him sternly,_

"_Don't like that, do ya, Cajun whore? Don't worry I'll kill him quick, then ya'll get yer turn."_

_He leans in grasping Logan by the scruff of his neck, slamming his head into the tile floor._

"_No hard feelings bout the blade in yer hide, but ya see, we were told by Ol' Sinister ta come grab this pretty fuck an bring 'im home. Ya know how it is…"_

"_Logan!"_

"_I won't letcha take im, Victor."_

_Logan rasps, then spits blood in Sabretooths' face. Suddenly the smile left then rage crossed his features. He growls slamming Logan's head into the tile again. Remy struggles in Scalphunters grasp, panicked. Clutching his stomach with one hand and pulling at the hand on his throat, he struggles to help his love._

"_Arrêter, s'il vous plait! Dey need 'im!"_

_(Stop please!)_

"_Scalper, can ya shut that bitch up?"_

_Logan struggles to look up to see why Remy's screams were suddenly muffled. Sabretooth turns to look himself, knowing he was leaving just enough room for Logan to watch Scalphunter as he slam Remy's head into the wall. Knocking him unconscious, blood beginning to pour down his forehead and his body goes limp. Logan grunts loudly struggling to scream his outrage. Sabretooth looks down upon his little brother seeing the pool of blood he was lying in, smiling._

_He winks down at Logan as he stands, walking over to Remy grabbing him by the hair pulling his face up so Logan can see the blood flowing down his face. He slaps Remy's cheeks, waking him violently._

"_Don't worry yerself there Runt. We'll take real good care of him."_

_Sabretooth licks some of the blood from Remy's cheek, as he sobs aloud. _

"_Mmm… that Cajun spice. Ya sure know how ta pick 'em, Runt. I'm gonna have ta try some fer ma'self."_

_Victor said laughing, Remy's groggy but he knew he was in trouble, dropping his shields for a moment his terror filled the room. Everyone hit the floor for a moment, his emotional outburst crippling for an instant. Remy clutched his stomach as he braced for impact, wanting to protect his child. When he looks up, he sees Logan lying in a pool of blood, wide eyed and motionless. He searched for their link and felt nothing. He screamed in anguish, he felt as though he were dying. Before he realized what had happened, Sabretooth came up from behind, slamming his head against the tile floor. Everything went black._

_Logan could do nothing but lie there and watch his world come crashing down. He watched as Sabretooth roughly grabs Remy, throwing him over his shoulder. Then he and Scalphunter jumped from the window. A few moments later, Scott and Jean burst through the door, Beast hot on their trail. Logan could hear them as the darkness took over, Remy's name glued to his lips, wishing he could get it out._

As Belle begins to fuss, he is pulled back from inside his own mind, shaking his head again; he is haunted by his failure that night. Logan could feel the scar the blade left, as Belle's feet brush past it as he adjusts her positioning. He could feel it through the soft material of the blue flannel he's wearing. He didn't have many scars, but the ones he had definitely had long stories behind them. Never in his worst nightmares had he thought his family would be one of those nightmares.

'_Both of his children…Remy protected them… James... Sinister… Remy.'_

He could feel the swell of multiple feelings as they well up within as he fights the raw emotion while he rocks his darling daughter. She's so sensitive to everyone around her; he knows he has to keep his guard up. He looks down upon the sleeping angel, lifting her carefully he nuzzles her cheek with his nose. She yawns lazily, stirring for a moment, looking up to him, through sleep filled eyes.

"_Don't worry darlin, I'm gonna make it up ta ya and yer brother, if it kills me."_

He kisses her forehead, as the sleep overtakes her again and she dozes back off, sighing in contentment.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Note from the Authoress:**

Hi everyone!

Wow, I am so sorry about the wait guys, these re-writes are killing me! So much going on in my life right now, but I just wanted to thank everyone who has continued reviewing and sending sweet notes. Between writer's block and my busy schedule, I have had a great deal of frustration. Thanks to you guys I have wind in my sails again. I have good news things are picking up in the story and I have the next chapter ready for editing so there will not be much of a wait! Yay!

Hope all is well with all of you. I was going to start "Speak and Be Heard" this chapter but I didn't have any questions about the last chapter, so we'll try again next chappie. So remember if you have any question or just want your comments added to the author section, I will do that for you, just send them in a personal message!

Let me know if it was worth the wait!

Review, review, review!

Love,

K

xoxox


	23. Chapter 23: Rest at Last

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

Angst/Hurt/Mpreg/NON-CON/Comfort

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an Mpreg if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

_-Management hehe!_

_P.S. In order to get this to you quickly, I have not edited it twice. But enjoy anyway!_

* * *

**Chapter 23: Rest at Last!**

As Belle begins to fuss, Logan is pulled back from inside his own mind, shaking his head again; he is haunted by his failure that night. He calms her enough to get her into a light sleep; he knows she must be hungry. Logan could feel the scar the blade left, as Belle's feet brush past it as he adjusts her positioning. He could feel it through the soft material of the blue flannel he's wearing. He didn't have many scars, but the ones he had definitely had long stories behind them. Never in his worst nightmares had he thought his family would be one of those stories.

'_Both of his children…Remy protected them… James…Remy... and I failed them…'_

He could feel the swell of multiple feelings as they well up within as he fights the raw emotion while he rocks his darling daughter. She's so sensitive to everyone around her; he knows he has to keep his guard up. He knew the twins shared a link; Belle hasn't been content since James' disappearance. He also knows she can sense something is wrong with Remy but there is nothing Logan can do other work on his own bond with the precious little girl.

He looks down upon the sleeping angel, lifting her carefully he nuzzles her cheek with his nose. She yawns lazily, stirring for a moment, looking up to him, through sleep filled eyes.

"_Don't worry darlin, I'm gonna make it up ta ya and yer brother, if it kills me." _

Her hunger strikes again, she fusses lightly, stirring in Logan's arms. He stands from the rocker, pacing back, as he walks rocking her back in forth hoping to calm her again he notices her tugging for him emotionally. She was feeding of his emotions and because he placed such a strong block on them so they wouldn't affect her negatively, he didn't realize doing so has cut her off from him completely. He takes a breath clears his mind and reaches out for her sending as much love and warmth he can down their shaky link.

"_Shh… beauty-girl, I'm here."_

She calms instantly. He kicks himself inwardly for cutting her off. All they both want is a connection and he was preventing that.

He could hear the footsteps coming up the hall, so he quickly settles into the rocking chair next to the window, knowing Hank would be able to see the crimson in comparison of his blue flannel if he were to remain standing there. She smiles up at him. He nuzzles her cheek again,

"_Are you smiling cause you know your Daddy is a big dumb-dumb?"_

She coos at him in reply.

Beast and Nightcrawler walk in, calling for Logan quietly.

"Logan?"

"_We're in the rockin' chair."_

Nightcrawler nods his goodbye to Beast then exits in a cloud of sulfur. Beast walks up to see Logan cuddling his daughter close as she coo's and gurgles at the soft words he was whispering to her.

"_The bottle you requested, friend."_

He takes the bottle from Hank's hand and then looks to his daughter, the daughter they both know he would have lost had she not been born with Logan's ability. She is so tiny to be so perfect.

"_Dinnertime darlin'."_

Placing the nipple of the bottle in her mouth, she hungrily sucks. He looks up to Hank,

"_What's wrong Blue?"_

"_Are you okay, Logan? Kurt said you were hurt."_

"_Oh, I'm fine; Kurt brushed my ribs with his arm. Really, I'm fine."_

_He lies again._

"_Oh, yeah. Good I was worried you were still bleeding."_

Logan's grin feral, he knows that like he, Beast had uncanny senses. Logan's sensitive nose could smell the stench of blood in the air so he knew Beast could as well, he just loves it when Hank plays along. He looks down at his daughter, cooing at her, in the moon light, he could see the blue sparkling of her eyes.

"_How about ya, tell Uncle Hank to stop worrying so much, we're okay. Aren't we?"_

He says goofily, his daughter cooing in accordance. Beast smiles at the sight,

"_Very well then, I'll just leave you two to your business."_

Hank notices the bottle is pretty much empty, he moves to instruct Logan on what to do next, but Logan lifts the tiny bundle up to his shoulder patting her back gently. Logan laughs when she burps lightly. Beast shakes his head as he walks away.

'_He's a natural, so rare to find.'_

After forty-five minutes, Hank feels the need to check in on the two, finding them both, sound asleep in the rocking chair. Beast smiles, watching the former feral beast cradling the tiny girl stretched out across his chest, her tiny head nestled between his neck and collar bone.

Hank reaches down to take Belle from Logan and he is suddenly met with a set of claws under his chin as Logan pins him to the wall growling ferociously, cradling Belle carefully with his free hand. After a moment of Hank pleading for release the claws are withdrawn, Belle expressing her dislike of the sudden awakening, waking Logan from his rage. He scrubs his eyes with his free hand, after he withdraws.

"_Sorry Hank, I'm a little jumpy."_

"_I can see that, friend."_

Logan smiles at him tiredly; his attention turns back to the fussing baby, he holds her close cradling her head,

"_I'm sorry, my beauty. You're Daddy just wants keep you safe; I didn't mean to scare you."_

He kisses her forehead, as the sleep overtakes her again and she dozes back off, sighing in contentment. He turns to Hank, with a look of mild of annoyance across his face.

"_So what were you trying to do, Blue?"_

"_I was going to put Belle in her bed and then get you to yours."_

"_I don't like her being so far away, how can I protect her when she's so far away?"_

"_Fine, I don't see why we can't move her incubator into your recovery room; it might help Remy to feel her close by."_

At the mention of Remy's name, the tears begin rolling down Logan's cheeks, the exhaustion making it's self know by his lack of control over his emotional state. Control was always so important to him, Beast pretends not to notice the tears to save his dignity. Logan roughly wipes at them with the back of his hand.

"_I'm going to take her to see him."_

"_Very well, I'll get her bed moved."_

When Beast entered their room with the incubator, he could see in slightly brighter light just how pale Logan is, he could also see the large blood soaked spot against the blue of his flannel shirt. He walks up shaking his head.

As Hank draws closer, Logan knew by the look on his face he is officially busted. Hank settles and hooks up the incubator, while Logan kisses Remy's hand.

"_Welp, Hank's busted me so I've got put Belle to bed, please come back to me soon, Darlin'. We miss ya so much, and I miss yer sexy Acadian voice. And Belle told me to tell ya she misses ya, cause I'm nowhere near as great as ya' are fer providin' food. I love ya, Rem."_

He gently kisses his hand again then sets it on his chest again. He pulls the blankets up around him and then slowly and deliberately walks over to Hank.

"_Logan, why did you lie to me?"_

"_Cause I didn't want to lose any time with Belle or Rem. Plus I'm not hurtin'. Okay?"_

"_Yes. That may be, but you are slowing down your healing factor the more blood you lose."_

"_Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm sorry."_

"_Don't be sorry, be more careful, friend. I couldn't stand it, if anything were to happen to you under my care."_

"_Thanks Blue."_

"_Now... Hop to bed young man."_

Logan smiled at him, knowing he was a great deal older than the doctor.

"_Okay, Dad."_

Logan kisses his daughter on the forehead, talking to her softly, as she coos.

"_I love you too, beauty-girl, don't worry we'll find yer brother. Everything will be okay."_

She coos another response in her sleep as he hands her over to Hank, then hops onto his bed. Biting back the tears, knowing he wouldn't be the one tucking James in this night. Kicking off his boots, he carefully lays back trying to get comfortable.

"_S' tired…gotta find James."_

He slurs the darkness over taking him, with Belle and Remy's presence nestled in the back of his mind, he knew he could keep them safe even if he was sleep. As his mind drifted off he could hear James' cry… he wanted to throw his self upward to find him, but he has lost the battle with his body. There was nothing he could do… it's just a dream he tells himself as the darkness takes total hold.

A shrill cry ruptures the silence again and it keeps getting closer, Sinister looks up when Vertigo threw the door open, holding the screaming baby at arm's length. Sinister slams the book he was reading closed.

"What is it now, Vertigo?"

**TBC…**

* * *

**To My Dear and Wonderful Readers:**

Haha! Finally a preview of what James has been up to.

But seriously THANK YOU for your responses! I am very sorry this has taken so long to upload but life happens to us all. I received a great number of responses for this story. I never wanted to put you my readers on the spot like I did but after a great number of readers seemed to dwindle and the amount of extra time I actually have in my life was dwindling at a much faster rate, it seemed to me as though no one really cared anymore.

I did not want you to think that I don't care for you or the story but you must realize when reviews diminish and PM's diminish it makes the author feel as though you might be bored or ready for the story to be over with. I know its many more chapters in length than the average story on FFN but if you keep reading, I'll keep writing. That is my promise! Just please be patient, thought you wouldn't believe how chaotic things are right now for me.

After my laptop crashed and I had to rewrite everything from this point on I took the story in a new direction full of new surprises and you guessed it, your favorite thing ever… Cliffies!

Also, please take note that I do apologize in advance for the minor spelling and grammar errors, but in order for me to serve all of you the chapters you want, it will have to be done more quickly, though I will try my best to always preserve the story content!

I love you all dearly, my readers! Please take a few seconds to review and let me know what you think about this new chapter! I'm dying to know if you like it! Take care of yourselves!

XOXO,

Nai


	24. Chapter 24: Inner Storms

**Shape of My Heart**

By: Kurenai LeStrange

**X-Men: Logan/Remy**

**Rated: M**

MPREG/ANGST/HURT/NON-CON/COMFORT

_Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or properties to this series. I just manipulate the characters for your enjoyment. This is an MPREG if you don't like it, don't read it. Consider yourself warned. Thx!_

_-Management hehe!_

* * *

**Chapter 24: Inner Storms**

* * *

"_Logan, why did you lie to me?"_

"_Cause I didn't want to lose any time with Belle or Rem. 'Sides I'm not hurtin'. Okay?"_

"_Yes. That may be, but you are slowing down your healing factor the more blood you lose."_

"_Yeah, yeah. Okay, Mom. I'm sorry."_

"_Don't be sorry, be more careful, friend. I'm not trying to mother you, Logan. It's just that I couldn't stand it, if anything were to happen to you under my care."_

Logan looks down at his boot scuffing the floor with his toe, he instantly felt badly for making fun of his friends genuine concern for him.

"_Thanks, Blue."_

"_Now... Off to bed young man."_

Logan smiled at him, knowing he was already forgiven for his comment. They both knew he is a great deal older than the soft-spoken doctor.

"_Okay, Mom."_

Logan says as Hank rolls his eyes at him. He kisses his daughter on the forehead, talking to her softly, as she coos.

"_I love you too, beauty-girl, don't worry we'll find yer brother. Everything will be okay."_

She coos another response in her sleep; he carefully wipes the tiny bit of drool from the angels face. He is finding it incredibly hard to hand her to his friend knowing she would be safe, yet he just can't help having the second thoughts. He sighs finally handing her gently over to Hank, weakly he sits on the side of the bed, finally feeling the full brunt of the exhaustion and weakness.

When he sees to his left Remy lying motionless, he can barely bite back the tears. He stares at the broken man's chest barely rising and falling, the lights on the various life-support machines blinking. When he breaks his stare that had been locked upon Remy he looks to see Hank standing in the doorway. He sighs sorrowfully knowing he is too weak be the one tucking Belle in tonight, his chest tightened with fear when he thought of who would be tucking in his son, James. Kicking off his boots, he carefully lays back trying to get comfortable.

"_S' tired…gotta find James. Care o' Rem…"_

He slurs the darkness over taking him almost immediately, with Belle and Remy's presence nestled in the back of his mind, he knew he could keep them safe even if he was asleep.

"_Sleep well my friend; you are all in good care."_

Beast states, as he dims the light sensors. His heart ached watching all the emotion embedded on his friends face, knowing it was out of his hands is even worse. He turns to tuck in the mansion's most prized possession for the night.

As Logan's mind drifts off he could hear James' cry… he wanted to throw his self upward to find him but he has lost the battle with his body. There was nothing he could do, thunder rumbling in the distance… it's just a dream he tells himself as the darkness takes total hold.

A shrill cry ruptures the silence again and it keeps getting closer, Sinister looks up when Vertigo threw the door open, holding the screaming baby at arm's length, tears streaming down her cheeks. Sinister slams the book he was reading closed.

"_What is it now, Vertigo?"_

"_Nathan, I'm not a babysitter."_

"_You are whatever I say you are. Why are you crying?"_

"_I need a break this kid is too much to handle."_

"_How can one newborn be too much to handle? It's a newborn."_

"_You watch him, you're smart. You'll figure it out…"_

She says shoving the baby in his arms, then storms from the room before he can say another word leaving the screaming child in his care. As James calms, Sinister could feel something pulling at his mind, he can feel a smile spread across his face.

'The child is an empath… using his abilities at such a young age is nearly unheard of, the child of the feral beast and that weak whore will be powerful.' His mind racing.

He can feel the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth again; he holds the baby's face closer to his.

"_Stop that!"_

He growls, his razor sharp glinting in the light of his study menacingly. The tiny infant frowned for only a moment, showing no signs of fear. This child had courage even a fully comprehending adult human couldn't possess. Laughter suddenly bursts forth from his chest, almost uncontrollable.

"_Get out of my head you little wretch!"_

He shouts in disgust after he regains control of his mental and emotional core. The tiny infant stares at him, blinking his red upon black eyes.

James smiles.

Suddenly the smell overtakes Sinister's senses he now understands Vertigo.

While Logan sleeps deeply, Remy is mentally fighting the demons from his past:

Remy sat behind rusty bars in his picture window, his vision is clouded by the tears forming, as he watched the white fluffy clouds lazily making their way across a deep blue sky. The clouds looked so free & the azure of the sky seemed endless as it stretched to the horizons. Free. Something Remy doubted he would ever be again.

The scrape of metal against metal resounded when he moved his foot. The shackle that had been placed there had been biting into the flesh for quite some time, rubbing the flesh raw, causing him to hiss in pain every time he moved his leg he could feel the wounds tear back open as the blood trickles down his foot again. Movement below his hands startles him from his thoughts, reminding him of his sadness. A child. His child. Was to be born into captivity and studied like an animal. That same child would be coming much sooner than he wished, nor should it need to be. As the thoughts processed, his tears fell.

As the small movements progressed into larger ones another wave of contractions started deep in his pelvic floor. It was a constant side effect that began during one of the earliest experiments Sinister had performed during this particular captivity; his body struggled to keep his child within the safety of his own. He struggled to keep his emotions in check. He felt the child's panic when it sensed his worry.

Remy knew as well as any, once his child was born he was as good as dead and the baby would become the new lab rat for Sinister's bidding. There was no way Remy could protect his small one from the grave but he has to try to stay calm and most importantly…alive.

His thoughts race with visions of the constant stress he's suffered since his arrival: starvation, brutal beatings and attacks from Sabretooth constantly took its toll, his child struggled to survive but knowing Wolverine's DNA lay nestled within his small one, which gave him some comfort and sadness at the same time. He knew the child would live on if the delivery cost him his life but the empathetic link he shared with it could possibly kill it shortly afterward if he should die before it's old enough to detach itself mentally.

As the contraction ebbs he breathes outward, lovingly stroking the swell, as he felt his muscles begin to clench again which was unusual, he knew his child was coming in mere days if not hours, he knew could leave nothing to chance. The contraction spiked more sharply than usual as well, causing Remy to grunt in shock then try to catch the breath that he had somehow lost.

"S'il vous plaît mon petit, c'est trop bientôt. Vous devez rester mis un peu plus long. Papa is tryin' ta figa' dis out."

(Please my small one, it's too soon. You must stay put a bit longer. )

Remy spoke softly while he gently rubbed the new sore spot at the base of his stomach, where some body part is digging. He breathed deeply knowing he had to make his escape, either way his child would be born far too soon. He knew he would rather they die trying to escape, then in Sinisters' clutches. As the newest contraction ebbs completely, he looked out the window as the sun was setting…

It had to be tonight.

Beast jerks awake, thunder booming through the house, rattling the walls. He shakes the sleep from his head a looks at the alarm clock.

'5:12 in the morning… great.'

He reaches over to turn off the alarm when suddenly; he realizes he didn't set it.

"Remy!"

He shouts shoving himself up from the cot he had set up in his office, running toward the recovery area. Alarms are blaring and as he rounded the corner he could see Remy was seizing on the bed. Thunder rumbles again, Beast realizes it's not the storm rattling the walls. The storm was too far away, it was Remy making the walls shake and rattle every time he begins to seize.

**TBC…**

* * *

**To My Dear and Wonderful Readers:**

Haha! Finally a full preview of what James has been up to. It seems to look like our little man has a personality much like our dear Remy. Lol. But seriously THANK YOU for your responses! I am very sorry this has taken so long to upload this chapter! Work has been nonstop and crazy but luckily it shouldn't take much longer to get the next one up, it's halfway complete already!

Again, please take note that I do apologize in advance for the minor spelling and grammatical errors but in order for me to serve all my readers for all of my stories, it will have to be done more quickly, though I will try my best to always preserve the story content!

I love you all dearly, my readers! **Please take a few seconds to review** and let me know what you think about this new chapter!** I'm dying to know if you like it!** Take care of yourselves!

**XOXO,**

**Nai**


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